Best Selling Books in Humor - Limericks & Humorous Verse

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release date: Sep 26, 2017
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Doctor Who: Now We Are Six Hundred: A Collection of Time Lord Verse

With illustrations by Russell T Davies, original showrunner of the new-era Doctor Who, the first ever Doctor Who poetry collection—a charming, funny and whimsical illustrated collection of verse that celebrates the joys and pitfalls of getting older . . . Time-Lord older.

Like many of us, the older they get, the more Time Lords realize how little they understand the universe around them. This delightful collection of poems—the first volume of Doctor Who verse published—offers moments of insight, wit, and reassurance for the maturing inhabitants of Gallifrey (and everywhere else), including such delights as:

THE END

When I was One

I was not much fun

When I was Two

I was barely through

When I was Three

I liked strong tea

When I was Four

I hated a bore

When I was Five

I was really alive

When I was Six

I somehow could never quite fit in to what was expected of me, well, not exactly but that was because things weren’t neat and there are no easy rhymes in the universe and scansion, my dear Peri, is a thing that’s really overrated and you only have to look at a sunset to realise that creation itself is a poem and oh no wait, got it, of course, Fix! The line needed to end with Fix!

(Or tricks. That’s works too.)

When I was Seven

I sent the gods to Heaven

When I was Eight

Kissing was great

When I was Nine

I had forgotten time

When I was Ten

I began again

When I was Eleven

I totally got even

When I was Twelve, I became as clever as clever

And now I think I’ll be Twelve for ever and ever*

(*Unless, of course, there is a terrible catastrophe involving explosions, radiation, or heights. And then I guess we’ll find out what comes next. But the eyebrows won’t be as good.)

release date: Sep 26, 2012
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K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice
From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. (more than 175,000 copies sold) and in the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh-out-loud collection of bad advice that turns the children's alphabet book on its head. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy's wallet on fire, and R is for Raccoon (but definitely not for rabies). With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it's perfect for the common-senseless child in all adults.
release date: Aug 01, 2017
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2018 Maxine Wall Calendar
Get cranky and get laughing with Maxine! Her quips about aging, the workplace, retirement, political correctness and of course sex (or the lack of it!) will keep you laughing all year! This 2018, 12"" x 12"" wall calendar is a top-selling format and has twelve full-color illustrations with a 4-month bonus spread featuring January 2019 - April 2019.
release date: Oct 04, 2000
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Suddenly Sixty And Other Shocks Of Later Life
Judith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children’s books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother’s Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year.

Suddenly Sixty is a funny and touching book that speaks directly to the sixty-ish woman, inviting her to laugh about, sigh over, and come to hopeful terms with the complex issues of this decade of life.

Among the poems in this charmingly illustrated collection are those exploring the joys—and strains—of children and grandchildren, and the intimacy of old friends who’ve ‘known each other so long/We knew each other back when we were virgins.” There are poems that tip their hat to mortality, wrestle with a husband’s retirement —“He’s coming with me when I shop at the supermarket/So I won't have to shop alone. I like alone.”— and acknowledge the fact that at this stage of life we’d “give up a night of wild rapture with Denzel Washington for a nice report on my next bone density test.” Offering plenty of laughs, a few tears, and cover-to-cover truths, these are poems for everyone who would “rather say never say die than enough is enough.” Every woman who has reached this decade will—rueful and smiling—find herself in the pages of this book.
release date: Oct 22, 1997
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The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories

From breathtaking stop-action animation to bittersweet modern fairy tales, filmmaker Tim Burton has become known for his unique visual brilliance -- witty and macabre at once. Now he gives birth to a cast of gruesomely sympathetic children -- misunderstood outcasts who struggle to find love and belonging in their cruel, cruel worlds. His lovingly lurid illustrations evoke both the sweetness and the tragedy of these dark yet simple beings -- hopeful, hapless heroes who appeal to the ugly outsider in all of us, and let us laugh at a world we have long left behind (mostly anyway).

release date: Oct 21, 2014
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Aimless Love: New and Selected Poems
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

“America’s favorite poet.”—The Wall Street Journal

From the two-term Poet Laureate of the United States Billy Collins comes his first volume of new and selected poems in twelve years. Aimless Love combines fifty new poems with generous selections from his four most recent books—Nine Horses, The Trouble with Poetry, Ballistics, and Horoscopes for the Dead. Collins’s unmistakable voice, which brings together plain speech with imaginative surprise, is clearly heard on every page, reminding us how he has managed to enrich the tapestry of contemporary poetry and greatly expand its audience. His work is featured in top literary magazines such as The New Yorker, Poetry, and The Atlantic, and he sells out reading venues all across the country. Appearing regularly in The Best American Poetry series, his poems appeal to readers and live audiences far and wide and have been translated into more than a dozen languages. By turns playful, ironic, and serious, Collins’s poetry captures the nuances of everyday life while leading the reader into zones of inspired wonder. In the poet’s own words, he hopes that his poems “begin in Kansas and end in Oz.” Touching on the themes of love, loss, joy, and poetry itself, these poems showcase the best work of this “poet of plenitude, irony, and Augustan grace” (The New Yorker).

Envoy
 
Go, little book,
out of this house and into the world,
 
carriage made of paper rolling toward town
bearing a single passenger
beyond the reach of this jittery pen
and far from the desk and the nosy gooseneck lamp.
 
It is time to decamp,
put on a jacket and venture outside,
time to be regarded by other eyes,
bound to be held in foreign hands.
 
So off you go, infants of the brain,
with a wave and some bits of fatherly advice:
 
stay out as late as you like,
don’t bother to call or write,
and talk to as many strangers as you can.

Praise for Aimless Love
 
“[Billy Collins] is able, with precious few words, to make me cry. Or laugh out loud. He is a remarkable artist. To have such power in such an abbreviated form is deeply inspiring.”—J. J. Abrams, The New York Times Book Review
 
“His work is poignant, straightforward, usually funny and imaginative, also nuanced and surprising. It bears repeated reading and reading aloud.”The Plain Dealer
 
“Collins has earned almost rock-star status. . . . He knows how to write layered, subtly witty poems that anyone can understand and appreciate—even those who don’t normally like poetry. . . . The Collins in these pages is distinctive, evocative, and knows how to make the genre fresh and relevant.”—The Christian Science Monitor
 
“Collins’s new poems contain everything you've come to expect from a Billy Collins poem. They stand solidly on even ground, chiseled and unbreakable. Their phrasing is elegant, the humor is alive, and the speaker continues to stroll at his own pace through the plainness of American life.”The Daily Beast
 
“[Collins’s] poetry presents simple observations, which create a shared experience between Collins and his readers, while further revealing how he takes life’s everyday humdrum experiences and makes them vibrant.”—The Times Leader


From the Hardcover edition.
release date: Aug 17, 2017
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The Art Teacher is Weird
Have you seen our new art teacher?
He's strange to say the least
I haven't met him personally
But the other kids call him "Beast"
 
If the rumors are true, he sings and dances around the room and has big horns sticking out of his head.
 
But, come on.  He can't be THAT weird...
 
Can he?
 
From the author of "The Schmillustrator's Coloring Book" comes the 47% true story:  "The Art Teacher is Weird," a new picture book for fans of goofy poetry and oddball illustrations.
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On Beyond Zebra! (Classic Seuss)
If you think the alphabet stops with Z, you are wrong. So wrong. Leave it to Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell (with a little help from Dr. Seuss) to create an entirely new alphabet beginning with Z! This rhyming picture book introduces twenty new letters and the creatures that one can spell with them. Discover (and spell) such wonderfully Seussian creations as the Yuzz-a-ma-Tuzz and the High Gargel-orum. Readers young and old will be giggling from beginning to end . . . or should we say, from Yuzz to Hi!
release date: Sep 15, 2017
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Video Marketing Rules: How to Win in a World Gone Video!
Video Marketing Rules shows entrepreneurs and business owners how to take advantage of the Online Video Revolution for business and revenue growth. The Web – and in fact the whole world – has gone video. Cisco Systems predicts that, in the next couple of years, 90% of all web traffic will be video. Video has become the way we share, the way we communicate, the way we connect, and the way we buy and sell. Video has also become the way we search (YouTube is the second most popular search engine), the way we “surf,” and the way we make buying decisions. 65% of consumers will visit a brand’s website and make a purchase decision after watching a video. As an entrepreneur, video marketing is your single most powerful tool for getting more visibility more quickly, so you can get your message out, attract your ideal clients, make more money and have more impact. It’s no surprise that ReelSEO reports 87% of online marketers are now using video to promote their products and services. And eMarketer confirms that 4 times as many consumers would rather watch a video about a product than read about it. This book, and the accompanying website, will walk you through everything you need to know to succeed with video marketing. Once armed with your new video “superpower,” there will be nothing you can’t accomplish using video marketing.
release date: Oct 06, 2015
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Pop Sonnets: Shakespearean Spins on Your Favorite Songs
The Bard meets the Backstreet Boys in Pop Sonnets, a collection of 100 classic pop songs reimagined as Shakespearean sonnets. All of your favorite artists are represented in these pages--from Bon Jovi and Green Day to Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, and beyond. Already a smash sensation on the Internet--the Tumblr page has 50,000+ followers--Pop Sonnets has been featured by the A.V. Club, BuzzFeed, and Vanity Fair, among many others. More than half of these pop sonnets are exclusive to this collection and have never been published in any form.
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