Best Selling Books by Doogie Horner

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release date: Oct 24, 2017
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A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic
A delightful Christmas storybook for adults based on the action-packed Die Hard movie 

All John McClane wants for Christmas is to reunite with his estranged family. But when his wife’s office holiday party turns into a deadly hostage situation, he has to save her life before he can get home in time for Christmas!

The unconventional fan-favorite movie Die Hard is now an illustrated storybook—complete with machine guns, European terrorists, and a cop who’s forced to rely on all his cunning and skills (and the help of a fellow officer) to save the day. Based on the classic “Night Before Christmas” poem and filled with whimsical illustrations, this cleverly reimagined homage is destined to become a holiday classic. 

*Contains adult material including violence and strong language. Reader discretion is advised. Ho-ho-ho.
release date: Nov 17, 2015
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Kid Athletes: True Tales of Childhood from Sports Legends (Kid Legends)
Hilarious childhood biographies and full-color illustrations show how Tiger Woods, Gabby Douglas, Bruce Lee, Bille Jean King, and other budding sports champions faced kid-sized challenges growing up.
 
Forget the gold medals, the championships, and the undefeated seasons. When all-star athletes were growing up, they had regular-kid problems just like you. Baseball legend Babe Ruth was such a troublemaker, his family sent him to reform school. Race car champion Danica Patrick fended off bullies who told her “girls can’t drive.” And football superstar Peyton Manning was forced to dance the tango in his school play. Kid Athletes tells all of their stories and more with full-color cartoon illustrations on every page. Other subjects include Billie Jean King, Jackie Robinson, Yao Ming, Gabby Douglas, Tiger Woods, Julie Krone, Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Bobby Orr, Lionel Messi, and more!
release date: Oct 28, 2014
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Kid Presidents: True Tales of Childhood from America's Presidents (Kid Legends)
Hilarious childhood biographies and full-color illustrations show how George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Barack Obama, and other presidents-to-be faced kid-sized problems growing up in America.
 
Every president started out as a kid! Forget the legends, tall tales, and historic achievements—before they were presidents, the future leaders of the United States had regular-kid problems just like you. John F. Kennedy hated his big brother. Lyndon Johnson pulled pranks in class. Barack Obama was bothered by bullies. And Bill Clinton was crazy clumsy (he once broke his leg jumping rope). Kid Presidents tells all of their stories and more with full-color cartoon illustrations on every page. History has never been this much fun!
release date: Aug 09, 2016
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Kid Artists: True Tales of Childhood from Creative Legends (Kid Legends)
Hilarious childhood biographies and full-color illustrations reveal how Leonardo da Vinci, Beatrix Potter, Keith Haring, and other great artists in history coped with regular-kid problems.
 
Every great artist started out as a kid. Forget the awards, the sold-out museum exhibitions, and the timeless masterpieces. When the world’s most celebrated artists were growing up, they had regular-kid problems just like you. Jackson Pollock’s family moved constantly—he lived in eight different cities before he was sixteen years old. Georgia O’Keeffe lived in the shadow of her “perfect” older brother Francis. And Jean-Michel Basquiat triumphed over poverty to become one of the world’s most influential artists. Kid Artists tells their stories and more with full-color cartoon illustrations on nearly every page. Other subjects include Claude MonetJacob LawrenceLeonardo da VinciVincent van GoghPablo PicassoFrida KahloBeatrix PotterYoko OnoDr. SeussEmily CarrKeith HaringCharles Schulz, and Louise Nevelson.
release date: Oct 10, 2017
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Kid Authors: True Tales of Childhood from Famous Writers (Kid Legends)
Funny and totally true childhood biographies and full-color illustrations tell the tales from the challenging yet defining growing-up years of J. K. Rowling, Beverly Cleary, J. R. R. Tolkien, and 12 other great writers.
 
Every great author started out as a kid. Before the best sellers, fan clubs, and beloved stories we know today, the world's most celebrated writers had regular-kid problems just like you. Sam Clemens (aka Mark Twain) loved to skip school and make mischief, with his best friend Tom, of course! A young J. R. R. Tolkien was bitten by a huge tarantula—or as he called it, “a spider as big as a dragon.” Toddler Zora Neale Hurston took her first steps when a wild hog entered her house and started chasing her! Kid Authors tells their stories and more—the diverse and inclusive cast that includes Roald Dahl, Beverly Cleary, J. K. Rowling, Sherman Alexie, Jules Verne, Lewis Carroll, Stan Lee—through kid-friendly texts and full-color cartoon illustrations on nearly every page.
release date: Sep 01, 2009
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Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know (Stuff You Should Know)
The ultimate collection of racy, ribald, and downright hilarious humor that makes a great gift!
 
This pocket-sized compendium of the crude and coarse contains all the jokes a man needs to crack wise. From the suggestive to the salacious, this book compiles the greatest dirty jokes of all time, including: 
 
     •  The One about the Factory Worker Who Made Love with a Pickle Slicer
     •  The One about the Flea, the Flight Attendant, and the Airplane Restroom
     •  The One about Father O’Mally’s Sunday Night Bath
     •  The One about the Cowboy and the Lesbian
release date: Oct 26, 2010
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Everything Explained Through Flowcharts: All of Life's Mysteries Unraveled, Including Tips for World Domination, Which Religion Offers the Best ... the Secret Recipe for Gettin' Laid Lemonade
According to book designer and stand-up comic Doogie Horner (The Ministry of Secret Jokes) everything—absolutely everything—in the seemingly random universe can be connected, charted, comprehended, and ultimately conquered. Everything Explained through Flowcharts is your one-stop decision-making handbook, packed with meticulous diagrams that will illuminate life’s greatest mysteries—from your afterlife options to the best alien pick-up lines to the smoothest route to world domination. Distinctive and ingenious, Everything Explained through Flowcharts is the only book currently on the market that enables you to trace the labyrinthine connections that order the universe while causing eye strain in seniors.
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release date: Sep 10, 2013
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100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts
Cut two eyeholes out of a bed sheet, and BOO! You've scared yourself up a classic Halloween icon. But what does that ghost look like when he's shy? Or in love? Or a pirate, a llama, a bond villain, or Russian nesting doll? 100 Ghosts explores every sort of spook in a series of whimsically haunting illustrations. It's a delightful collection for adults, children, and anyone in need of a friendly fright.
release date: Oct 20, 2015
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Some Very Interesting Cats Perhaps You Weren't Aware Of
A completely original and funny new take on cats. Doogie Horner, a writer and illustrator, knows just what it is about cats that so obsesses and delights us—their impenetrable personalities, their self-contained quirkiness, the aura of mystery that makes it seem as if they’re always up to something that they don’t want us to know about. So he imagines their secret lives for us, in a way that takes the most surprising and whimsical turns.

With full-color illustrations and absurdly funny short stories, Some Very Interesting Cats Perhaps You Weren’t Aware Of  is a gallery of 100 impossible cat characters. Like the Alien cat, Xort, who reports back to his planet: “Have trained my humans to feed and pet me. They suspect nothing.” Or the Mountain Climber cat, Snowball, who is planning a perilous route up the North Curtain to Mt. Bookcase. Or Mystico, the Magician cat—no one could figure out how he sawed a dog in half. (The answer was simple: He didn’t like dogs.) And Hjalmar, the Viking cat, whose motto is “Pillage. Tuna. Plunder. Nap.”
 
release date: Jul 11, 2021
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