New Releases by Joan Hess

Police chief Arly Hanks investigates murder in her Ozark hometown in three books of a beloved series by an Agatha Award–winning author. Her marriage and career over, Arly Hanks heads home to Maggody, Arkansas, for a fresh start. Not much ever happens in a village this size, so Arly figures her new job as chief of police will be pretty quiet. But the seemingly peaceful Maggody residents have a few secrets of their own . . . Malice in Maggody: Something stinks, and it''s not the polluted fishing hole. An escaped convict is coming home to roost, an infamous EPA agent has disappeared, and there''s a corpse with an arrow in its neck at a nearby seedy motel. Now it''s up to Arly and her half-witted deputy, Paulie, to discover the source of the rot. Mischief in Maggody: Maggody''s population is suddenly booming, and among its new residents are a doom-obsessed psychic and a handsome high school guidance counselor. But after a local moonshiner and prostitute are found dead in a booby-trapped field of cannabis, Arly must root out the killer before they make another deadly deduction. Much Ado in Maggody: The bank president''s playboy son, Brandon Bernswallow, is now the head teller, and his sexist behavior has women ready to tell him off. When the bank burns down with Bernswallow inside, Arly must quickly uncover what really happened if she hopes to cool the town''s tensions.

Egypt, 1912—Amelia Peabody and her dashing archeologist husband, Radcliffe Emerson, are once again in danger as they search for a priceless, stolen bust of legendary Queen Nefertiti and Amelia finds herself the target of assassins in this long-awaited, eagerly anticipated final installment of Elizabeth Peters’ bestselling, beloved mystery series. Arriving in Cairo for another thrilling excavation season, Amelia is relaxing in a well-earned bubble bath in her elegant hotel suite in Cairo, when a man with knife protruding from his back staggers into the bath chamber and utters a single word—"Murder"—before collapsing on the tiled floor, dead. Among the few possessions he carried was a sheet of paper with Amelia’s name and room number, and a curious piece of pasteboard the size of a calling card bearing one word: "Judas." Most peculiarly, the stranger was wearing a gold-rimmed monocle in his left eye. It quickly becomes apparent that someone saved Amelia from a would-be assassin—someone who is keeping a careful eye on the intrepid Englishwoman. Discovering a terse note clearly meant for Emerson—Where were you?"—pushed under their door, there can be only one answer: the brilliant master of disguise, Sethos. But neither assassins nor the Genius of Crime will deter Amelia as she and Emerson head to the excavation site at Amarna, where they will witness the discovery of one of the most precious Egyptian artifacts: the iconic Nefertiti bust. In 1345 B.C. the sculptor Thutmose crafted the piece in tribute to the great beauty of this queen who was also the chief consort of Pharaoh Akhenaten and stepmother to King Tutankhamun. For Amelia, this excavation season will prove to be unforgettable. Throughout her journey, a parade of men in monocles will die under suspicious circumstances, fascinating new relics will be unearthed, a diabolical mystery will be solved, and a brilliant criminal will offer his final challenge . . . and perhaps be unmasked at last.

Eleven stories of jealousy, lunacy, and murder told in the uproarious style of Joan Hess, the creator of Maggody, Arkansas. As he waits in the checkout line at Consumers Market, Jay Jay Anderson is certain of one thing: His wife, Cookie, deserves to die. In the tabloids, he finds a story about a man whose wife was kidnapped by Big Foot, and Jay Jay can''t imagine a luckier fellow. But Cookie is a wino with nicotine-stained fingers, badly bleached hair, and a voice shrill enough to cut glass. . . . Big Foot wouldn''t be interested. If Jay Jay wants out of his rotten marriage, he''ll have to kill Cookie himself. "Big Foot Stole My Wife!" is classic Joan Hess: diabolical, hilarious, and utterly unpredictable. This sparkling collection of stories, which includes two tales culled from the Maggody police files of beloved small-town sheriff Arly Hanks, shows a master of comic mysteries operating at her very best. Fans of the comic small-town mysteries of Donna Andrews or Liz Lipperman will adore Joan Hess. The creator of the outrageous Ozarks hamlet of Maggody, she''s one of the funniest authors in mystery fiction, and these stories show her at her laugh-out-loud best.

Delightfully deadly short fiction from the pen of Joan Hess, creator of Maggody, Arkansas. Althea is caught in a romance writer''s worst nightmare: She''s been trapped in one of her own melodramatic creations. Around her, strapping men chase after elegant women whose bosoms heave and whose bodices beg to be ripped. There''s no television, no women''s lib, and absolutely no escape. Worst of all, Althea fits right in. Everyone recognizes her as the penniless orphan rescued from a cruel uncle by a charming nobleman. Althea would rather be dead—and if she''s lucky, she will be soon. The creator of the Claire Malloy Mysteries, which chronicle the adventures of a bookselling sleuth, Joan Hess knows better than anyone how dangerous romance novels can be. In "Death of a Romance Writer" and the other six stories in this volume, she redefines what it means to die laughing.

Another outrageous Maggody mystery, starring police chief Arly Hanks alongside a smooth-talking televangelist and a whole town full of sinners. Some days, police chief Arly Hanks can''t help but see Maggody, Arkansas, as little more than a cesspool of poverty, ignorance, and incest—the kind of glorified trailer park that gives the South a bad name. But hey, it''s home. So when silver-tongued televangelist Malachi Hope swoops into town, with a revivalist laser light show and plans to build a Christian theme park, Arly worries her beloved, if crazy, neighbors are about to be swindled. But it''s Malachi who should be terrified. As the town whips itself into revival fever, it''s all Arly can do to keep Maggody from coming apart at the seams. And when the girls'' basketball coach is found dead, Arly can''t help but suspect that the murder is related to Malachi''s tent meetings. To save Maggody from itself, Arly will risk everything—in this world and the hereafter. What Carl Hiaasen did for Florida, Joan Hess has done for the Ozarks. This is a hilarious look at small-town greed and the irresistible madness of Maggody, Arkansas. Miracles in Maggody is the 9th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

Another "great" cozy mystery set in outrageous Maggody, Arkansas, a town so strange that even Hollywood filmmakers can''t believe it''s real ( Library Journal). From the Kwik-Stoppe-Shoppe to the Pot O'' Gold Mobile Home Park, there isn''t much glamour in Maggody . . . but this flyspeck Arkansas town is about to become famous. When a Hollywood production company chooses Maggody as a backdrop for an X-rated Ozarks "Romeo and Juliet," the locals are starstruck. And as Maggody is flooded with washed-up actors, ruthless producers, and a cynical crew, the townsfolk will do anything for a close-up—even if it means resorting to murder. Chief of Police Arly Hanks has no time for Hollywood—she''s got her hands full with a local arsonist—but when one of the actors is found dead in a bathtub, she''s forced to intervene. As the film spins out of control, Arly realizes that the citizens of Maggody will stop at nothing to get their fifteen minutes of fame—even as the town burns down around them. In the spirit of David Mamet''s State and Main, this delightful novel shows that when Hollywood collides with small-town values, the movie industry doesn''t stand a chance. Mortal Remains in Maggody is the 5th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

Police chief Arly Hanks tries to keep her head when the people of Maggody get UFO fever in this uproarious cozy mystery. Life is so boring in Maggody, Arkansas, population 755, the locals have resorted to reading supermarket tabloids, gobbling up every rumor of wolf men, zombies, and creatures from outer space they can get their hands on. And as the only sane woman in town, Chief of Police Arly Hanks just smiles and nods whenever her neighbors rave about the latest conspiracy theories. But to Arly''s eternal horror, it looks like Maggody is about to become ground zero for an extraterrestrial invasion. The aliens will never know what hit ''em. It starts when strange circles appear in Raz Buchanon''s cornfields, drawing reporters, newscasters, and every nut west of the Mississippi. But as supernatural fever hits Maggody, Arly is confronted with a very terrestrial murder. There may be aliens on Main Street, but in a town this strange, how could anybody tell the difference? Life has always been nutty in Maggody, but the madness is about to go paranormal. Master of cozies Joan Hess knows better than anyone how to push a mystery to the brink of madness—and then push it a whole lot farther. Martians in Maggody is the 8th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

A youth trip turns deadly, and Chief of Police Arly Hanks must catch the killer while serving as chaperone, in this hilarious small-town mystery. Arly Hanks has caught all sorts of killers since she returned home to Maggody, Arkansas, population 759, but she''s never tangled with anyone as devious as the local youth group. While chaperoning a trip to Camp Pearly Gates, Arly watches the kids as closely as she would any hardened criminal, but when teenagers have a mind to get into trouble, there''s nothing a police chief can do but limit the damage. She''s just about got the situation under control when one of the kids finds a body, and all hell breaks loose in classic Maggody manner. The murdered woman sports a shaved head and a white robe, marking her as a Moonbeam, a member of a particularly kooky local cult. And caught between the sect and the law, Arly may be forced to sacrifice what little sanity she has left. Nobody pokes fun at religion quite as effectively as Joan Hess. This is another laugh-out-loud entry in one of the funniest mystery series of all time. Maggody and the Moonbeams is the 13th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

In this hilarious cozy mystery, small-town police chief Arly Hanks tries to stop a right-wing militia from turning Maggody into a battlefield. The sign welcoming travelers to Maggody, Arkansas, reads "Pop. 755," and don''t expect Hizzoner Jim Bob to repaint it just because there''s someone new in town. The mayor won''t go out of his way for anyone, especially someone wicked—and a woman who would open a pawnshop in Maggody must be very wicked indeed. Kayleen Smeltner decided to open the shop after her husband was killed during a burglary. She came to Maggody expecting peace and quiet, but she''ll find this quaint little patch of nowhere isn''t as peaceful as it seems. When a right-wing militia takes up residence in the pasture behind the pawnshop, police chief Arly Hanks knows it''s only a matter of time before the bullets start to fly. The strange citizens of Maggody are on the verge of civil war, and it will only take one spark to set the town ablaze. There''s no politics like small-town politics, and there''s no town on earth like Maggody. This madcap take on right-wing militias is one of Joan Hess''s most topical—and outrageous—mysteries yet. The Maggody Militia is the 10th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

The madcap citizens of Maggody, Arkansas, descend on Graceland, and a bizarre murder mystery forces police chief Arly Hanks to pay homage to the King. When Chief of Police Arly Hanks came home to Maggody, Arkansas, after a bad divorce, she thought life here would be simpler than it was in New York City. But it''s been one insane episode after another, and the latest eruption of chaos may just drive poor Arly around the bend. After all, Maggody is more than a town; it''s a state of mind—and that mind is a bit deranged. When Arly''s mother, Ruby Bee Hanks, and a few fanatics leave town on a pilgrimage to Graceland, Arly hopes for a few days of peace and quiet. But before you can say, "Blue Suede Shoes," one of the Elvis enthusiasts has been found dead, and the Memphis police are flummoxed by the tourists'' unique brand of crazy. Arly will have to solve the murder herself because, as she knows all too well, it''s not insane—it''s Maggody. The people of Maggody love having a tacky good time, and Elvis-lovers know that there''s nowhere tackier, or more fun, than Graceland, Tennessee. The madmen of Maggody should fit right in. Misery Loves Maggody is the 11th book in the Arly Hanks Mysteries, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.

Claire Malloy, for as long as she can remember, has been the local bookseller and owner of the Book Depot and the widowed mother of teenage Caron, who frequently speaks in ALL CAPS. But her life has changed dramatically in recent years. Claire has married her longtime beau, Deputy Police Chief Peter Rosen. Still the owner of the Book Depot, Claire has passed the day-to-day running of it on to her very efficient employees. With Caron inching ever closer to college, there''s but one thing that remains steadfastly unchanged—Claire''s astonishing ability to attract, find, or even just randomly stumble across trouble. Summoned for jury duty, the prosecutor on a murder case, harboring a grudge against her husband, decides to humiliate Claire and dismiss her. Having done so in spectacular enough fashion to make the local news, Claire decides that revenge will be the next dish she serves. She hunts down the defendant in the case, a woman accused of murdering her husband, and offers to help prove her innocence. And not just because Claire wants to humiliate the prosecutor. There are only two problems. One—the defendant is looking guiltier by the minute. And two—the worst day imaginable has finally come: Claire''s dreaded new mother-in-law is coming to visit and life in prison is starting to look good.

Claire Malloy''s friend has written a trashy novel. Claire agrees to host a book party but at the end of the evening her friend is found strangled. She had admittedly offended many people but who could have hated her with such passion?

Murder is no laughing matter—especially when it comes to marriage. So before Luanne gets in too deep with her new flame, a dentist named Dick, she''d like her best friend to do a background check. Did Dick murder his two previous wives? That''s what Arkansas bookseller and amateur sleuth Claire Malloy intends to discover... Everything Claire turns up on this would-be blue-beard keeps leading her down a slippery slope. The police are determined to prove Dick guilty of double homicide, but Claire''s not so sure. Something about his story just doesn''t add up. But if Dick didn''t do the deed, who did? The only thing Claire knows for sure is that Luanne won''t have a moment''s rest until she finds out...

Maggody, Arkansas (pop. 755) is perceived of as a two-bit hick town, filled with one-bit hicks. But Mrs. Jim Bob Buchanan seeks to change that perception with her latest scheme—a charity golf tournament. This presents a bit of a challenge, since no one in Maggody plays golf and there is no course. But when the prize for the first hole-in-one is announced—a top of the line bass boat—nearly everyone in town develops a new-found interest in the sport. The town goes golf crazy, trying to learn the sport in time to win the bass boat, with limited success and maximum domestic disorder. Sheriff Arly Hanks, who has better things to worry about, just wishes it would all go away. When a small-town golf instructor wins the bass boat on the first day of the tournament, it looks like all the excitement is over. But the next morning, when he''s found dead, sitting in the parking lot in the front seat of the bass boat, the prize is once again up for grabs and nearly everyone in town is a murder suspect.

Just as the Renaissance Fair is set to open a body has been found burned in the wreckage of a rented home. Tensions expose the dark secrets and malevolent schemes that lurk beneath the surface. Now, with Claire''s dreams of a blissful wedding between her daughter and Police Lieutenant Peter Rosen hanging in the balance, she has no choice but to fling herself into the battle and match wits with the killer.

Agatha Award-winning author Joan Hess, the prolific creator of the Claire Malloy and Maggody mysteries, is beloved for her clever sleuths, quirky characters, and her ingenious plotting. We invite you to enjoy this delightful Claire Malloy mystery, and to discover why Sharyn McCrumb calls Joan Hess "the patron saint of comic mystery." At Farberville High, it''s reading, writing...and murder. Who knows what evil lurks in the halls of Farbervilles'' high school-or what blackmail is hidden in Miss Demeanor''s Falcon Crier advice column? Certainly not bookstore owner and amateur sleuth Claire Malloy-until her daughter Caron persuades her to substitute for disgraced column editor and journalism teacher Emily Parchester. Surely Miss Parchester cannot be guilty of embezzlement. But the petty charges graduate to murder when Principal Weiss gets his last licks from Miss Parchester''s peach compote. Miss Parchester herself, last seen at a local sanitarium, is suddenly missing. And now it''s up to Claire to find someone who''s been schooled in the fine art of murder...

Kalli Dakos, a teacher and popular school poet, lends her verse to celebrate teachers and the important work they do. These poems range from lighthearted glimpses of classroom life to selections that will inspire teachers to share their unique gifts and talents with children. ,,,,Kalli hopes teachers will laugh and cry through these poems, and ultimately be inspired to celebrate the poetic moments in their own classrooms.

From the author of "Out on a Limb" comes the newest Claire Malloy Mystery, starring the bookseller sleuth from the normally quiet college town of Farberville, Arkansas.

Agatha and Macavity Award-winning Author In the title novel, "The Deadly Ackee," retired florist Theo Bloom lucks into what appears to be a perfect situation -- escorting his teenage niece and her five friends to lush Jamaica, where he can study the tropical flora to his heart''s delight. But there are serpents in paradise; his squabbling charges are enough to drive even mild-mannered Theo to drink, and when an old friend from the CIA turns up, it''s more than coincidence. But when a body is found floating in the resort pool, Theo''s vacation turns murderous, and only he can solve the mystery before another victim is found. Also included is a selection of short stories, including one from "The Maggody Files." Joan Hess lives in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Claire Malloy believes there is just one thing better than chocolate...and it''s not jumping a round in an aerobics class. Nonetheless, she gets roped into accompanying a chubby heiress named Maribeth to Faberville, Arkansas''s hottest new fitness center. Personally, Claire thinks the best way for Maribeth to lose 160 unnecessary pounds would be to dump her abusive husband. But while Claire''s teenage daughter Caron unsuccessfully tries every fad diet she can find (as long as it doesn''t mean cutting out pizza), Claire has to admit Maribeth''s commitment to diet, workouts, and supplements is working...until things go horribly wrong. Besides becoming moonstruck over the big-muscled fitness instructor, Maribeth is acting loony outside the gym as well. And when she ends up "accidentally" dead, Claire starts to exercise her instincts for crime...and hunt for a killer.

CHAOS AND MURDER SOON FOLLOW WHEN A SMALL TOWN GOES ONLINE.

Moran was something of a grind. Her only concern was getting good grades so she could qualify for a special school. The one day in physics class, she heard a voice: " Hey, gorgeous. How about a date? The problem was -nobody else heard the voice."

When you make a game of murder, be careful who the players are... Who could resist the mock-murder weekend at the charming Mimosa Inn-- certainly not bookstore owner and amateur sleuth Claire Malloy, who decides to bring her petulant daughter Caron along for some detecting. As the guests settle in for a weekend of sleuthing, dressed as their favorite literary detectives, many a Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot stand poised to solve a murder. But fiction becomes alarmingly real, as the mock-murder victim isn''t just playing dead-- he''s really been bashed to death. More determined than even to find the killer, Claire combs the grounds of the lovely inn for this most uninvited guest.