New Release Books by Adam Mansbach

Adam Mansbach is the author of Just Try One Bite (2022), The Go the Fuck to Sleep Box Set (2021), Jake the Fake Keeps His Cool (2021), I Had a Brother Once (2021) and other 45 books.

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Just Try One Bite

release date: Mar 22, 2022
Just Try One Bite
An instant New York Times bestseller! From the bestselling author of Go the **** to Sleep and healthy eating advocate Camila Alves McConaughey comes a whimsical role reversal in which picky eater parents are confronted by their three kids, with hilarious results These three kids are determined to get their parents to put down the ice cream, cake, and chicken fried steak to just try one bite of healthy whole foods. But it's harder than it looks when these over-the-top gagging, picky parents refuse to give things like broccoli and kale a chance. Kids will love the jaunty rhyme that's begging to be read aloud and the opportunity to be way smarter—and healthier—than their parents.

The Go the Fuck to Sleep Box Set

release date: Oct 05, 2021
The Go the Fuck to Sleep Box Set
Celebrating a decade of profane, loving, and deeply cathartic children's books for adults, the entire Go the Fuck to Sleep trilogy is finally available in a collectors'-edition boxed set--including a 'Tired Parents on Board' sticker! Critical praise for Go the Fuck to Sleep: A New York Times, Amazon.com, Wall Street Journal, and Publishers Weekly number one best seller. One of Reader's Digest's 25 Funniest Books of All Time! "A new Bible for weary parents." --New York Times "Incredibly appealing." --NPR Ten years ago, Adam Mansbach crystallized the secret agony of parents the world over with one simple phrase: Go the Fuck to Sleep. In verses that perfectly capture the familiar tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night, the book opened up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity . . . and the message only resonated louder when Samuel L. Jackson, the bard of the F-word, read the audiobook. You Have to Fucking Eat expanded the conversation to include parenthood's other universal frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal, with Bryan Cranston voicing the audiobook . . . and because life moves pretty fast, Fuck, Now There Are Two of You soon became necessary, to address the fact that two is, somehow, a million more kids than one--with Larry David doing the audiobook honors. And now, to celebrate a decade of profane, loving, and deeply cathartic children's books for adults, the entire trilogy is finally available in a collectors'-edition boxed set--with a bonus sticker included--perfect for gifting at a baby shower or using to knock yourself unconscious. As always . . . you probably should not read these books to a child.

Jake the Fake Keeps His Cool

release date: Aug 01, 2021
Jake the Fake Keeps His Cool
"Jake loses his cool when he learns he's about to become the middle child, and he's back to his fakester ways when new girl Bailey starts school and he'd do anything to impress her"--

I Had a Brother Once

release date: Apr 13, 2021
I Had a Brother Once
A brilliant, genre-defying work—both memoir and epic poem—about the struggle for wisdom, grace, and ritual in the face of unspeakable loss “A bruised and brave love letter from a brother right here to a brother now gone . . . a soaring, unblinking gaze into the meaning of life itself.”—Marlon James, author of Black Leopard, Red Wolf my father said david has taken his own life Adam is in the middle of his own busy life, and approaching a career high in the form of a #1 New York Times bestselling book—when these words from his father open a chasm beneath his feet. I Had a Brother Once is the story of everything that comes after. In the shadow of David’s inexplicable death, Adam is forced to re-remember a brother he thought he knew and to reckon with a ghost, confronting his unsettled family history, his distant relationship with tradition and faith, and his desperate need to understand an event that always slides just out of his grasp. This is an expansive and deeply thoughtful poetic meditation on loss and a raw, darkly funny, human story of trying to create a ritual—of remembrance, mourning, forgiveness, and acceptance—where once there was a life.

Jake the Fake Goes for Laughs

release date: Jan 07, 2020
Jake the Fake Goes for Laughs
Having discovered his natural talent for comedy at his school's end-of-semester talent show, Jake decides to pursue "his art," but can his comedian-mentor teach Jake humility as well as humor?

A Field Guide to the Jewish People

release date: Sep 24, 2019
A Field Guide to the Jewish People
From three award-winning and bestselling humor writers comes a hilarious guide to everything you need to know about Jewish history, holidays, and traditions. Why do random Jewish holidays keep springing up unexpectedly? Why are yarmulkes round? Who was the first Jewish comedian? What's "Christian humor" and have you ever even heard of that phrase? Who is "the Golem" and whom do you want it to beat up? These baffling questions and many more are answered by comedy legends Dave Barry, Adam Mansbach, and Alan Zweibel, two-thirds of whom are Jewish. In A Field Guide to the Jewish People the authors dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries. Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to laugh as you finally begin to understand the inner-workings of Judaism.

Benjamin Franklin: You've Got Mail

release date: Jun 04, 2017
Benjamin Franklin: You've Got Mail
If the Future has any remedy for this situation, do not hesitate to provide it. That is to say, Ike and Claire Wanzandae, HELP! HELP HELP HELP. I am (perhaps not for long), Benjamin Franklin Ike Saturday has seen better days. For one thing, his pen pal, Benjamin Franklin (yes, that Benjamin Franklin), is the target of an angry mob after Ike's plan to help the Founding Fathers with some intel from the future seriously backfired. For another, he's decided to mail himself back in time with the help of his girlfriend, Claire Wanzandae, and it's not a particularly comfortable way to travel. Once Ike tracks B-Freezy down in 1776, it becomes clear that his pal is less than impressed with the irritating, modern-day rescuer, partially because Ike has a habit of making things worse for Ben, and partially because Ben is incredibly cranky when not in the presence of numerous meat pies. Which speaks to another issue for the pair: they have no money, no food, and basically no plan for saving the country. But Claire won't be able to cover for Ike back home in the future forever, and the British are looking pretty impatient, so Ike and B-Freezy will have to come up with something quickly if they want to avoid an epic, history-destroying disaster. In this hilarious sequel to Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in My . . . , Adam Mansbach and Alan Zweibel take Ike and B-Freezy's antics to the next level as this ill-paired (and sometimes actually ill) duo hold the future of the world in their not-so-capable hands.

Jake the Fake Keeps it Real

release date: Mar 28, 2017
Jake the Fake Keeps it Real
For fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Big Nate comes the first book in a side-splitting illustrated series from comedian and film star Craig Robinson, #1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and NAACP History Maker recipient and cartoonist Keith Knight. Jake can barely play an instrument, not even a kazoo. And his art? It’s better suited for Pictionary than Picasso. Which is a real problem because Jake just faked his way into the Music and Art Academy for the gifted and talented (and Jake is pretty sure he is neither). More jokester than composer, Jake will have to think of something quick before the last laugh is on him. Featuring more than 160 illustrations, Jake the Fake is sure to bring the laughs with his hilarious high jinks!

For This We Left Egypt?

release date: Mar 07, 2017
For This We Left Egypt?
The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.

Seriously, You Have to Eat

release date: Sep 14, 2015
Seriously, You Have to Eat
"Parents and children alike will surely welcome a pause to bond over a shared recognition that their endless battles are not theirs alone--before they get back to them." --New York Journal of Books "Everything you hoped for and more....Adam Mansbach, the author and Owen Brozman, the illustrator, have definitely hit a chord with parents." --Examiner.com "A fun title to read aloud and share!" --Midwest Book Review "This hilarious book goes into the struggle of getting children to eat and how frustrating it is for parents....With the age-old struggle of getting kids to eat, we are certain parents and grandparents alike will love this book!" --Budget Earth "Just the humor parents needs as they deal with the frustrations of a picky eater!" --Parenting Healthy, included in Holiday Gift Guide "This is a great gift for a parent because its reality in a funny, humorous way that only a child would get." --Emily’s Frugal Tips/Sew Crazy Life, included in Holiday Gift Guide "A super fun book that will have readers laughing out loud. Mansbach's quirky, clever humor is unforgettable and absolutely addicting! While Seriously, You Have to Eat is totally kid appropriate, adults will seriously chuckle too." --Word Spelunking On the heels of the New York Times best seller You Have to F**king Eat (a sequel to the worldwide mega-best seller Go the F**k to Sleep), now comes the version that is entirely appropriate to read to--and with--children. While the message and humor will be similar to the adult version, there will, of course, be no profanity whatsoever. Step aside Green Eggs and Ham, there's a new, 21st-century book in town that will compel all finicky children to eat!

F**k, Now There Are Two of You

release date: Oct 01, 2019
F**k, Now There Are Two of You
Another wickedly funny bedtime story for grown-ups from the bestselling author of Go The F**k to Sleep.

The Devil's Bag Man

release date: Jul 21, 2015
The Devil's Bag Man
From Adam Mansbach, the acclaimed #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F**k to Sleep, comes an electrifying and horrifying action-adventure tale set in the dangerous terrain of the Tex-Mex borderland In The Dead Run, outlaw with a conscience Jess Galvan made a devil's bargain with El Cucuy, a fearsome, five-hundred-year-old Aztec priest and major crime kingpin determined to bring about hell on earth. Now, months later, Galvan is trapped in his own personal hell, his mind infested with the soul of this ancient monster. No longer able to trust his own judgment, he is estranged from his daughter, Sherry—and from his own body. His every moment is a battle to keep the evil priest at bay. But there is a silver lining—Cucuy's presence has endowed Galvan with superhuman strength and endurance. Meanwhile, separated from Galvan and shell-shocked by her confrontation with Cucuy, Sherry is living with Sheriff Bob Nichols and his now girlfriend, psychologist Ruth Cantwell. The only bright spot in her life is her dashing new-to-town boyfriend. And in the bowels of Ojos Negros prison, a territory once controlled by the ancient priest, the drug cartels are at war with one another and on the hunt for Galvan—who must find a way to exorcise his inner demon in time to save the world from annihilation. In this chilling sequel to The Dead Run, #1 New York Times bestselling author Adam Mansbach mixes horror, the supernatural, and gritty suspense to create a high-concept adventure filled with nasty bad guys, fearsome magic, and an unlikely hero who is caught between worlds but determined to save this one.

Fuck, Now There Are Two of You

release date: Oct 01, 2019
Fuck, Now There Are Two of You
It turns out that two is a million more kids than one. Adam Mansbach famously gave voice to two of parenting's primal struggles in Go the Fuck to Sleep and You Have to Fucking Eat. Now Fuck, Now There Are Two of You tackles a new addition to the family and all the fears and frustrations attendant to the simple, math-defying fact that two is a million more kids than one. As you probably know by now, you shouldn't read it to a child.

Seriously, Just Go to Sleep

release date: Sep 11, 2014
Seriously, Just Go to Sleep
"Now there's a version, complete with more of the gorgeous, yet weirdly subversive illustrations. The best part? It's still funny. The rhythms, the plodding rhymes, the illustrations, the clever play on the overused trope of the world at bedtime -- they all work together to take Seriously, Just Go to Sleep beyond parody and into the realm where good children's books belong: things that parents, and children, can honestly come to from different places and enjoy together. I can imagine reading Seriously, Go to Sleep nightly, and even to the point where you're begging the child to choose something else (the ultimate compliment for a picture book) and yet still finding something to enjoy. It captures a different 'zeitgeist' of modern parenting." --New York Times "From the team that touched off the irreverent humor trend Go the F**k to Sleep, author Adam Mansbach and illustrator Ricardo Cortes, comes a new kid-friendly version of their instant comic classic. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep brings children in on the joke, helping them understand their own tactics and why their parents just want them to go . . . to sleep." --Publishers Weekly Critical success for the original Go the F*** to Sleep, a #1 best seller at: New York Times, Amazon.com, Wall Street Journal, Publishers Weekly, and many more! Seriously, Just Go to Sleep is the G-rated, traditional-sized, children's version of the book every parent has been talking about. Go the F*** to Sleep, the picture book for adults, became a cultural sensation by striking a universal chord for parents. Now, Adam Mansbach and Ricardo Cortés reunite with Seriously, Just Go to Sleep, inviting the children themselves in on the joke. As parents know, kids are well aware of how difficult they can be at bedtime. With Cortés's updated illustrations (including a cameo appearance by Samuel L. Jackson, who narrated the audio book version of Go the F*** to Sleep) and Mansbach's new child-appropriate narrative, the book allows kids to recognize their tactics, giggle at their own mischievousness, and empathize with their parents' struggles--a perspective most children's books don't capture. Most importantly, it provides a common ground for children and their parents to talk about one of the most stressful aspects of parenting. Seriously, Just Go to Sleep came to be when Mansbach read a highly censored rendition of the original book to his three-year-old daughter, and she recognized herself as the culprit and was delighted. "We were getting a lot of feedback from parents, saying that their kids loved the book--read in an altered form--because they recognized themselves in the character of the mischievous kid who's winning the bedtime battle, and thought it was hilarious. So we figured we’d do a companion volume that lets kids in on the fun."

Go de Rass to Sleep

release date: May 19, 2014
Go de Rass to Sleep
Named one of the 20 Greatest New Father's Day Gifts by Advocate.com! "No matter what the country or the language, parents all over the world--loving, frustrated, exhausted parents--know what Adam Mansbach means. Since 2011, his comically obscene picture book has sold more than 1.5 million copies in dozens of languages from Afrikaans to Japanese to Nynorsk. And later this year, his little book will venture into new territory with a Jamaican patois translation: 'Go de R–s to Sleep.'" --The Washington Post/Style Blog "This version of Adam Mansbach's profane, affectionate, and radically honest book will remind whole new audiences about the absurdities of parenting. Just don't read it to the kids." --Advocate.com, The 20 Greatest New Father's Day Gifts Praise for Go the Fuck to Sleep: "A new Bible for weary parents." --New York Times "Incredibly appealing." --NPR "A parenting zeitgeist...A phenomenon that has stunned the publishing world and may just redefine the modern ‘parenting’ market." --Washington Post "Delightfully obscene." --Newsweek "Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this deranged book." --New Yorker The best-selling Go the F*** to Sleep has been translated into over thirty languages worldwide. Now it is finally translated for Jamaican and other Caribbean parents of the world. Given how many West Indians live in the US and Canada, the market for this book should be broad, but focused mainly on areas with a large Caribbean community. Go de Rass to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award–winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by Ricardo Cortés, Go de Rass to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, old, and expectant. You probably should not read it to your children.

The Dead Run

release date: Sep 24, 2013
The Dead Run
With thrilling chills and crackling suspense, The Dead Run is an edgy novel set in the netherworld of the Mexican-American border from Adam Mansbach, the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F**ck to Sleep and Rage Is Back. On both sides of the border, girls are going missing and bodies are beginning to surface. It’s a deadly epidemic of crime that plunges a small-town police chief into a monster of an investigation he's not equipped to handle. An ancient evil has returned, and now everyone—the innocent and the guilty—must face their deepest terrors. With The Dead Run Adam Mansbach delivers an eerie high-concept thriller, mixing horror, the supernatural, and suspense in a chilling, high-octane read.

Rage Is Back

release date: Jan 10, 2013
Rage Is Back
From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Go the F*** to Sleep, “a rollicking, frenetic and hilarious jaunt” (San Francisco Chronicle) and an Amazon Best Book of the Month Raised in the shadow of two graffiti legends from New York’s “golden era” of subway bombing, Dondi Vance is less than thrilled to learn his father, Billy Rage, is back after sixteen years on the lam. But the transit cop who ruined Billy’s life and shattered his crew is running for mayor—and must be brought down. Welcome to the Great American Graffiti Novel.

Nature of the Beast

release date: Aug 07, 2012
Nature of the Beast
When the world is threatened by an alien force, a Florida gator wrestler is all that stands between survival and total annihilation Though humans have never heard their name, mankind’s greatest enemies are called the Zawa. A race of alien zealots, they crisscross the stars on a bloodthirsty crusade, destroying life on other planets in service of their sinister galactic god. And Earth is next on their list. They offer mankind one hope for survival: They will engage in hand-to-hand combat with Earth’s chosen champion to determine the planet’s fate. To find the world’s deadliest creature, Earth’s richest man—media titan Milan Marlowe—organizes a no-species-barred fight to the death, pitting sharks, gorillas, and polar bears against one another in a gruesome knockout tourney. No one bets on the alligator, but that’s because no one has heard of his trainer. Bruno Bolo is an alligator wrestler, blues singer, and whiskey-hound from the humid Florida swamps. He has a quick temper, quicker fists, and courage that is unmatched in man or beast. And he might just be humanity’s last chance . . . This is a fixed-format ebook, which preserves the design and layout of the original print book.

Go the F**k to Sleep

release date: Jul 11, 2011
Go the F**k to Sleep
Go the F**k to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it perfectly capture the familiar tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. In the process, it opens up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity.

Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in my...

release date: Sep 04, 2015
Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in my...
Dear Mr. Franklin, First of all, let me just say that this Assignment is Stupid. You are Dead. Why am I writing a letter to Some dead guy I've never even met? This is the start to a most unlikely pen pal relationship between thirteen-year-old Franklin Isaac Saturday (Ike) and Benjamin Franklin. Before the fateful extra credit assignment that started it all, Ike's life was pretty normal. He was avoiding the popularity contests of middle school, crushing hard on Clare Wanzandae and trying not roll his eyes at his stepfather, Dirk-the-Jerk's lame jokes. But all that changes when, in a successful effort to make Claire Wanzandae laugh, Ike mails his homework assignment to Ben Franklin???and he writes back. Soon, things go awry. After Ike has an embarrassing moment of epic proportions in front of Claire involving a playground, non-alcoholic beer, and a lot of kettle corn, Ike decides he needs to find a way to win Claire back. With some help from his new friend, B-Fizzle, can Ike get the girl and make his mark in history?

You Have to F**king Eat

release date: Nov 21, 2014
You Have to F**king Eat
From the author of the international bestseller Go the Fuck to Sleep comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to Fucking Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving mums and dads - new, old and expectant - a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. You probably shouldn't read it to your children. Adam Mansbach’s novels include The End of the Jews (winner of the California Book Award), Angry Black White Boy, Rage is Back and The Dead Run. His fiction and essays have appeared in the New York Times Book Review, the Believer, Granta, the Los Angeles Times and many other publications. Mansbach's 2011 picture book Go the Fuck to Sleep was an international bestseller and one of the most talked-about books of the decade. A viral sensation, it has been published in forty languages, and is forthcoming as a feature film from Fox 2000. 'A likeable variation on a universal f**king theme.' Kirkus 'Clever, funny and cathartic, parents and babysitters alike will love it.' Big Issue 'There might be some parents who don’t relate to this book. But not many.' Noni Hazlehurst on Go the F**k to Sleep 'The language? WTF? This hilarious, politically incorrect books is totally correctabout the feelings of sleepless, brain-dead parents.' Mem Fox, author of Possum Magic on Go the F**k to Sleep

You Have to Fucking Eat

release date: Nov 12, 2014
You Have to Fucking Eat
A New York Times Best Seller One of BookRiot's Must-Read Books from Indie Presses for 2014 One of Flavorwire's 50 Best Independent Fiction and Poetry Books of 2014 "You Have to F***ing Eat makes parents of picky eaters smile." --TODAY Parents "Adam Mansbach...will delight exhausted and exasperated parents everywhere for a second time with You Have to F**king Eat--another children's book that is most definitely not for children." --Entertainment Weekly "An equally hilarious ode to kids at the table." --Huffington Post "Parents, Adam Mansbach gets you. He understood that sometimes your kids just won't go the f**k to sleep. And, in his new foulmouthed bedtime book for parents out Wednesday, he understands that sometimes they just won't f**king eat. And he knows, well, it's really f**king annoying. So how about some f**king comic relief?" --GQ "A likeable variation on a universal f***ing theme." --Kirkus Reviews "A hilarious sendup of the eternal fight between kids and their parents over what to eat and when--if at all." --New York Journal of Books "If you're a frustrated parent with a picky child, or even just one who appreciates 'deranged' humor, especially humor that rhymes, this is a terrific read for you...Parents will enjoy a good chuckle and subtle reminder that everything is better, including parenthood, if tackled with a little bit of humor." --San Francisco Book Review "You Have to F**cking Eat, Sequel to Go the F**k to Sleep, Is Finally F**king Coming...It will arrive just in time to gift it to your brother-in-law, who, upon unwrapping it, will clutch it immediately to his chest and shake his head furiously at his waist-high daughter as she claws at him with her chewed up nails. 'No, no, it's not for you,' he'll say, laughing and crying at the same time." --Flavorwire "An uproarious spoof of bedtime board books." --San Francisco Chronicle "A 21st-century bedtime story for the ages (and all ages) if there ever was one." --Bay Area Reporter "Parents, when your precious angel rips you from your three hours of sleep to demand food that he won't actually eat, you'll want this f'ing book." --Mashable "Forthcoming new book by genius funnyman Adam Mansbach." --BoingBoing "Mansbach freely, fabulously curses out the uncensored truth; Brozman makes sure you'll recognize your irresistible, equitably diverse mini-mes with those all-too-familiar expressions, from utter disdain to overwhelming trust and every little eyeball roll in between." --BookDragon/Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center "If your kid has never presented you with some new mind-boggling preference at mealtime, I suspect you're lying." --Persephone Magazine "This book is genius. It is what every parent is thinking when their child refuses dinner." --Old School/New School Mom "With this soon-to-be crude classic, Adam Mansbach has nailed it with his undeniable animal/child comparisons all cozily complimented by Owen Brozman's humorous illustration--we dare you not to giggle into your eggnog." --Curious Mom "Illustrations are just as enjoyable and the narrative again paints the perfect picture." --Roundtable Reviews From the author of the international best seller Go the F*** to Sleep comes a long-awaited sequel about the other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F***ing Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads new, old, grand- and expectant, a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem. A perfect gift book like the smash hit Go the F*** to Sleep (over 1.5 million copies sold worldwide!), You Have to F***ing Eat perfectly captures Mansbach's trademark humor, which is simultaneously affectionate and radically honest. You probably shouldn't read it to your kids.
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