New Releases by Alan Katz

Bet you can't read the whole thing without laughing! These animal jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing! Why was the baby snake upset? Because someone took his rattle. What did the fast food worker say when the frog ordered a hamburger? "Do you want flies with that?" Get ready to BARK out loud with these hilarious animal jokes from author and expert funny man Alan Katz! Including knock-knock jokes and puns for all situations, The Funniest Animal Joke Book Ever has it all! It even includes activities and fill-in sections to write your own jokes!

"It's that time in the Passover Seder when it's Grandpa Murray's job to break the matzoh and hide the afikomen for the kids to find. But what happens when you hide the afikomen too well? Search as hard as they can, Nathan, Simone, Andrew, and David can't track it down anywhere. The kids may have to turn the house upside down if they want to get their reward and finish the Seder meal."--

In "Lifespan Decoded: How to Hack Your Biology for a Longer, Healthier Life," pioneering physicians Dr. Pradeep Albert and Dr. Alan Katz present a revolutionary guide to mastering the science of longevity. This groundbreaking work combines decades of clinical experience with cutting-edge research to offer a comprehensive roadmap for extending both lifespan and healthspan - the period of life spent in good health. Drawing from their extensive work in regenerative medicine, stem cell therapy, and hyperbaric medicine, the authors decode complex scientific concepts into practical strategies that readers can implement immediately. Whether you're a healthcare professional seeking advanced protocols or someone passionate about optimizing their longevity potential, this book provides the tools and knowledge to take control of your aging process. This comprehensive guide explores: The fascinating biology of aging and how to influence cellular senescence Genetic factors affecting longevity and practical ways to optimize your genetic potential Revolutionary treatments including stem cells, exosomes, and hyperbaric oxygen therapy The critical roles of sleep, stress management, and targeted exercise in longevity Advanced biomarkers to track and optimize your biological age Evidence-based nutritional strategies for extending healthy lifespan Cutting-edge technologies and the future of longevity medicine The intricate connections between immunity, circadian rhythms, and aging Practical protocols for implementing anti-aging interventions Essential considerations for hormone optimization and metabolic health Dr. Albert, a pioneer in regenerative medicine and founder of Longerton University, brings his expertise from treating thousands of patients and training physicians globally. Dr. Katz, with over three decades of medical experience and dual board certifications, contributes his profound insights into metabolic and hyperbaric medicine. "Lifespan Decoded" stands apart by offering: Clear explanations of complex longevity science Actionable protocols based on clinical experience Evidence-based strategies for immediate implementation Advanced insights for healthcare professionals Practical guidance for the general public Discover why aging is no longer destiny - it's a modifiable process that you can influence. Whether you're optimizing your own longevity or helping others extend their healthspan, "Lifespan Decoded" provides the blueprint for making informed, evidence-based decisions about your health and future.

The Elf Academy elves take on babysitting in this fourth and final book in a series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! Andy Snowden has to take care of his teacher’s niece and nephew who are moving to the North Pole. Has he finally met his mischievous match?

"Becky loves Grandpa Max. When he visits, they have a lot of fun together. But when Grandpa Max pulls his favorite prank on Becky, he accidentally takes her nose--for real! OH NO! Now Becky and Grandpa Max have to chase Becky's runny nose all over town--or else, who nose what will happen? With vibrant art and hilarious wordplay, children, parents, and grandparents alike will love the funny, fast-paced picture book tale."--Publisher marketing.

The Elf Academy elves throw a surprise party for Santa in this third book in a series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! The elves decide to throw a super-duper surprise party for Santa, complete with gifts, treats, and decorations! Andy Snowden has a million and one ideas to make the party the best one ever. What could possibly go wrong?

"When Snowball, the puffball hamster in Ms. Kim's classroom, accidentally sips the teacher's leftover protein shake, she transforms into a monster like Beacher Elementary School has never known before. It's all hands on deck to stop Snowball before it's too late. And to do that, Milton Worthy is going to do have to team up with Noah, the part-time classroom ferret, full-time evil mastermind"--

If there’s a problem in school, there’s no substitute for the world-saving substitute teachers of the S.O.S.! This is the fourth book of this hilarious, highly illustrated early chapter book series. It’s Spring Break! Milton Worthy and his family are off on a vacation to Super Fun World. It’s a week filled with roller coasters, rides, and fried food—and no super-sub missions for seven whole days. Everything is going according to plan until Milton gets stuck looking after Noah—part-time classroom pet, full-time evil mastermind—who has an entirely different kind of getaway in mind. Will Milton be able to figure out Noah’s latest plot for world domination before it ruins his family’s fun time? HarperChapters build confident readers one chapter at a time! With short, fast-paced books, art on every page, and milestone markers at the end of every chapter, they're the perfect next step for fans of I Can Read!

Travel to the North Pole in this first book in a brand-new series about a young elf’s merry misadventures, part of the Aladdin QUIX line of fun-to-read, short chapter books that’s perfect for emerging readers! Andy Snowden is one of the many North Pole elves who make holiday gifts for children all around the world. But day after day, week after week, Andy starts to grow tired of the same old routine. He knows he’s destined for a different path than the other elves. But what else can a North Pole elf be good at? Maybe the Elf Academy Toy Making Contest can help Andy discover a special hidden talent!

Just when you thought they’d moved out for good… Being a mommy is great. So is being a daddy. But do you know what’s even better? Being an empty nester. Oh, the joys of watching a fully raised child sprout wings and move away. Until the horrifying day… That child comes back. Goodbye tranquility. Goodbye cleanliness. Goodbye leftover meatloaf. It’s a fact that 52% of millennials are living in their parents’ homes. Get the H*** Out of My House is picture book for the parents who hoped, thought and prayed they’d be empty nesters. It’s a way to tell them they’re not alone in having those hopes dashed, thoughts dismissed and prayers unanswered. If that’s you, don’t despair. Just read this book, and keep the faith. And if you’re the millennial who’s moved back, buy them this book…then get the hell out of their house!

"Oh, no! Noah, the classroom's evil pet ferret, has stolen everyone's lunch--and worse yet, he's done it on a day when Milton's mom, the class's go-to super-sub, is off on another assignment. Will Milton be able to foil Noah's most fiendish plot yet or will they lose their lunches for good in the gooiest, stickiest, biggest food fight ever?"--

Part of a super fun middle grade series, Awesome Achievers in Science puts the spotlight on lesser-known heroes and their contributions in major scientific fields. Everyone has heard the names Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, but what about Michael Collins--the third brave Apollo 11 astronaut who didn't get to walk on the moon? Many of the most relevant figures in scientific history have remained in the shadows, but not any longer! From Alan Katz's new Awesome Achievers series, Awesome Achievers in Science gives kids a look behind the scenes at 12 lesser-known scientists whose contributions are personally relevant to their lives today. Each figure is given a traditional biography but is also subject to Katz's unique brand of silliness, with humorous elements such as imagined poems, song lyrics, and diary entries by or about the not-so-famous figure accompanying each bio. Spot illustrations throughout add to the lighthearted and appreciative humor each figure receives. Reluctant readers and budding scientists alike will delight in this imaginative and engaging continuation of a new series of laugh-out-loud biographies.

A father and son discuss the variety of outlandish items they might have if not for the other in this funny and heartfelt look at the appreciation we have for our families. There are tons of things a parent or child could have, if they didn’t have each other. A dad may be able to have a sleek sports car, and a son could have candy for every meal. But if to have those things, they wouldn’t have each other…well, they’d rather have their family instead. Kids and parents alike will find the humor in all the outlandish things they could have, but also the tenderness of knowing they have exactly what they need with each other.

Perfect for fans of Tom Angleberger and Dan Gutman, this hilarious story with black and white illustrations is the start of a series about trouble-making twins and their newest nanny--and his very impressive mustache!

Show and Tell in Mrs. Mueller's classroom is full of wordplay--though not intentionally.

Bestselling author Alan Katz, of Silly Dilly fame, knows kid humor, and he knows just what subjects are funniest—from school to siblings to sports, this assortment of spirited poetry has something for everyone. In the tradition of Shel Silverstein and Jack Prelutsky, with black-and-white illustrations throughout, this collection of more than 100 poems will have kids roaring with laughter!

Rocky Dachshund is back in an all-new first experience story from bestselling author Alan Katz and illustrator Pascal Lemaitre. This time, Rocky just won’t share! On the playground, he hogs the swings. He never passes the basketball during the game, and in art class he wants all the crayons and all the markers! Young readers are sure to giggle as this “me, mine” barker learns the importance of sharing in this humorous follow-up to Let’s Get a Checkup!

Alan Katz and David Catrow's MOSQUITOES ARE RUINING MY SUMMER! offers song parodies for campers everywhere!

An energetic young boy has many things to do before he is ready to go to bed.

Well-known songs, including "Oh Susannah" and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," are presented with new words and titles, such as "Heavy Backpack!" and "I Don't Want to Do Homework!"

Fourteen song parodies about parents and children, including "They're Always on the Cell" (to the tune of "Farmer in the Dell"), "Watch Dad Exercise" (to the tune of "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"), "Dressed Up is Messed Up" (to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"), and "Too Much Kissing" (to the tune of "Rock-a-bye Baby").

Come along on a hilarious adventure with the one and only Karate Pig as he karate chops everything in sight—even this book! In the end, Karate Pig learns a very important lesson about sharing and reading with his very good friends. Readers will laugh out loud as they read this novelty book with pull-tabs, die-cut pages and a gatefold flap.

Calling all silly dilly fans! Get ready to take a giant time-out for laughs, 'cause the bestselling creators of Take Me Out of the Bathtub and Other Silly Dilly Songs and Are You Quite Polite? Silly Dilly Manners Songs are back again to silly-dilly-fy your world. The crowd will go wild and join in the chorus, singing sport new lyrics to childhood classics. From football to baseball, soccer to archery, there's a song for every court, field, and sporting occasion. No need to wear a helmet, and you don't even have to shout "Fore!" before singing the golf song!

“A Royal Stinkfest!” —Fairy Queen of Snots “What a gas!” —Fairy O. Hara, author of Gone Is the Wind “This book makes great reading—and even better toilet paper!” —I.C. Butts, President of S.T.I.N.K. (Society to Inform Nice Kids) Say the word “fairies” and it conjures up images of little winged beings made of gossamer and light, exquisitely dressed in shimmering gowns or twirly, little bejeweled skating costumes. Well, you haven't met The Flim-Flam Fairies. Be prepared for the crazy antics of the Fart Fairy, Snot Fairy, Dirty Underwear Fairy, as well as a few other less-than-enchanting fairies as they persuade their way into and out of children's lives in attempts to take over the Tooth Fairy's under-the-pillow enterprise. A silly story that will have the kids howling into their pillows with laughter!

Well-known music with new lyrics encourage toddlers to trade in their diapers for the potty chair, including "If You Gotta Go Do Poopy," sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It."

A collection of humorous poems for children.

An hilarious rhyming story about not saying 'naughty' words.

Dr. I. B. Wrongo is the smartest guy in the land of Wrongovia. By spending 4,312 straight days in his secret testing facility, he's proven it's more fun to be wrong...and he's created THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S WRONG! to give kids everywhere the chance to play along, laugh along, and even learn along! WHOSE PORTRAIT IS ON THE NICKEL? If you said Thomas Jefferson, that would be right. But in this gamewe're looking for the WRONG answer. No points for you! NOTE TO PARENTS: This game encourages kids to give the WRONG ANSWERS toa variety of questions. When they do, they'll score points and laughthemselves silly...and then they'll learn the RIGHT ANSWERS and someadditional facts to remember. So don't worry, this game is sure to makethem happier and smarter! And if you don't believe me, you're wrong too!Either way, congratulations! -- Dr. I. B. Wrongo

Dr. I. B. Wrongo is the smartest guy in the land of Wrongovia. By spending 4,312 straight days in his secret testing facility, he's proven it's more fun to be wrong . . . and he's created THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S WRONG! to give kids everywhere the chance to play along, laugh along, and even learn along! WHICH ANIMAL CAN CHANGE ITS COLOR?__ Chameleon __ Eel If you said chameleon, that would be right. But in this game, we're looking for the WRONG answer. No points for you! NOTE TO PARENTS: This game encourages kids to give the WRONG ANSWERS to a wide variety of questions. When they do, they'll score points and laugh themselves silly . . . and then they'll learn the RIGHT ANSWERS and some additional facts to remember. So don't worry, they won't end up stupid or weird -- this game is sure to make them happier and smarter! And if you don't believe me, you're wrong too! Either way, congratulations!-- Dr. I. B. Wrongo