New Release Books by Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is the author of The Borowitz Report (2010), Who Moved My Soap? (2009), The Republican Playbook (2006), Governor Arnold (2004) and other 3 books.

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The Borowitz Report

release date: May 11, 2010
The Borowitz Report
Prepare to be shocked. From the man The Wall Street Journal hailed as a "Swiftean satirist" comes the most shocking book ever written! The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, by award-winning fake journalist Andy Borowitz, contains page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too -- yes, shocking -- for the mainstream press to handle. Sample the groundbreaking reporting from the news organization whose motto is "Give us thirty minutes -- we''ll waste it."

Who Moved My Soap?

release date: Aug 25, 2009
Who Moved My Soap?
Attention, CEOs: Finally, a book you don''t have to cook! If you''re a CEO who''s just been caught, this is the book you won''t want to be caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The CEO''s Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: • How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in one week or less • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners • Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary • Prison cell feng shui • How to avoid getting back-stabbed -- literally • The Zagat guide to fine prison dining

The Republican Playbook

release date: Sep 27, 2006
The Republican Playbook
Scandals. Lies. A breathtaking disregard for federal laws. How on earth do the Republicans keep winning Easy: They''ve got a Playbook After the 2004 presidential debates, eagle-eyed observers hypothesized about the rectangular bulge tucked inside George W.''s suit jacket, visible in images shown around the world. Was it a radio receiver, allowing Karl Rove to feed the president complete sentences hed never form on his own Perhaps it was a remote-control device that enabled Dick Cheney to operate W. like a robot. Nah. The real explanation was much simpler, and yet far more disturbing: It was The Republican Playbook. Required reading for every Republican candidate, office-holder, or super-secret covert operative, The Republican Playbook contains all the schemes, scams, and dirty tricks used to attain victory since Richard Nixon commissioned the first edition back in 1972. Did you know: -President Gerald Ford''s notorious clumsiness wasnt caused by an inner-ear disorder -- the Playbook stashed in his left rear pants pocket threw off his equilibrium. -A chapter entitled "Deny Knowing Anything About Anything" was particularly helpful to President Ronald Reagan. Packed with detailed instructions on essential topics like how to run a smear campaign, how to cover a leak, and how to plant one, plus diagrams for fully functioning voting booth/ballot shredders (to be used in Florida, Ohio, and other battleground states), The Republican Playbook is a must-read if were ever going to survive the 2006 elections.

Governor Arnold

release date: Jan 13, 2004
Governor Arnold
THE TERMINATOR''S TERM, TOTALLY RECALLED! The real story of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger''s first one hundred days in office comes to life in vivid two-color photographs and completely fictitious captions. Governor Arnold tells the story of Schwarzenegger''s historic first days in office, in pictures that are evocative, dramatic, and sometimes truly frightening -- especially the ones in which he is wearing no shirt. New Yorker humorist Andy Borowitz, creator of the award-winning website BorowitzReport.com, travels to Sacramento for an up-close, exclusive look at a man with a mission: to reshape California in his own monstrous, bulging-veined image. It''s a book for history buffs...about the buffest man in history! Governor Arnold is guaranteed to make the Governator stop groping women...and start groping for superlatives!

Rationalizations to Live by

release date: Jan 01, 2000
Rationalizations to Live by
A book for everyone who''s ever cheated just a little bit at golf or gone to a party instead of visiting a sick friend, "The Mink Was Already Dead" offers dozens of perfect rationalizations for behavior that ranges from the thoughtless to the boorish.

The Trillionaire Next Door

release date: May 16, 2000
The Trillionaire Next Door
When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn''t Fast Enough!Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice--until now. The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you''ll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it''s almost insulting A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click" Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts Bad math And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I''d buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it''s that good!" --Stacy Gellman, day trader
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