Best Selling Books by Augusten Burroughs

The runaway national bestseller now becomes a motion picture starring Annette Bening and Gwyneth Paltrow, directed by Ryan Murphy

An advertising executive remembers his childhood with his eccentric foster family and his early adulthood experiences of trying to establish an independent life for himself.

With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best. You''ve eaten too much candy at Christmas...but have you ever eaten the face off a six-foot stuffed Santa? You''ve seen gingerbread houses...but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You''ve woken up with a hangover...but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could.

Explores the most personal, mirthful, disturbing and cherished times of our lives in essay form.

From the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry—a contagiously funny, heartwarming, shocking, twisted, and absolutely magical collection. True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. Dating an undertaker. And much more. A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal, yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.

"Running with Scissors" author Augusten Burroughs presents this memoir about his father.

If you''re fat and fail every diet, if you''re thin but can''t get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can''t get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really and truly wish you were dead, if you feel like it''s your destiny to be a star, if you believe life has a grudge against you, if you don''t want to have sex with your spouse and don''t know why, if you feel so ashamed, if you''re lost in life. If you have ever wondered, How am I aupposed to survive this? This is How.

Sellevision is America''s premier shop-at-home channel until disaster strikes each of its frighteningly telegenic hosts in this ruthless send-up of home shopping TV that is as impossible to put down as a remote control and a credit card.

A Spellbinding Memoir of Witchcraft, Family Secrets, and the Power of Love "Here''s a partial list of things I don''t believe in: God. The Devil. Heaven. Hell. Bigfoot. Ancient Aliens. Past lives. Life after death. Vampires. Zombies. Reiki. Homeopathy. Rolfing. Reflexology. Note that ''witches'' and ''witchcraft'' are absent from this list. The thing is, I wouldn''t believe in them, and I would privately ridicule any idiot who did, except for one thing: I am a witch." In this stunning memoir, Augusten Burroughs, the number one New York Times bestselling author, delves into his family''s history of witchcraft and his own journey to understand the tricky power he wields. Descended from a long line of witches dating back to the early American colonies, Augusten and his mother shared an extraordinary bond—until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family. Navigating the world of this mysterious gift, Augusten chronicles his experiences, from the hilarious to the terrifying, in Toil & Trouble. Readers will learn that very few things in life are mere coincidences—ghosts are real, trees can want to kill you, beavers are the spawn of Satan, and houses are alive. At the heart of this touching and slightly spooky memoir lies the most powerful magic of all: love.

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author, a hilarious and ultimately tender, moving memoir

From the number-one bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry comes TAKE FIVE, a mini collection of true stories that give voice to the thoughts that we all have but dare not mention—stories that shine a flashlight into both dark and hilarious places. TAKE FIVE includes the following four favorite previously-published essays plus one brand-new, never-been-published essay by Augusten Burroughs: --MINT THRESHOLD --UNCLEAR SAILING --COMMERICAL BREAK --DEBBIE''S REQUIREMENTS --SWAN SONG (new!)