New Releases by Colin West

Batty Ballads is a crazy collection of funny story-poems with many full colour illustrations by Colin West himself. The characters you can meet include Freda, a flat-footed fairy, a dirty cowboy called Bert, King Neptune''s naughty nephew, and young Gordon Glass, the boy who ignored notices.

Barmy Balladsis a beautifully produced hardback collection of humorous poetry, introducing a wonderful array of crazy characters. Meet a nutty knight, a naughty witch, a smelly pirate, a not-very-jolly jester, a child genius, a hungry giant, a clever donkey, an invisible mischief-maker and many more. There is also a full supporting cast, including a crafty wizard, a lovesick fisherman, a helpful octopus, a hip hop drummer, seven washerwomen, a gang of bank robbers, a fiery dragon or two, not to mention the Queen of Spain and the old kitchen sink! Best-selling poet Roger McGough hailed Colin''s previous collection, Bonkers Ballads, as a "cracking book" and now Colin is back with a whole new bunch of ballads even bigger and barmier than before. "Barmy, brilliant and absurd - Colin West''s mastery of witty improbabilities in rhyme, combined with the quirky charm of his illustrations, makes this book irresistible." Liz Brownlee (National Poetry Day Ambassador for the Forward Arts Foundation)

A fantastic collection of children’s poetry which will appeal to fan’s of Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes and the silly verse of Spike Milligan Colin West’s new collection, Bonkers Ballads, contains a host of funny poems and accompanying colour illustrations sure to tickle your ribs and make you chuckle. Amongst the crazy characters are a seasick mermaid, an out-of-tune minstrel and a natty knight whose only concern is keeping his armour extra bright. And there is a mischivous fairy who loves practical jokes, a king with toothache and a very, very clever pig. Also included are a crafty witch, a feisty female pirate and a poor peasant who fashions himself a pair of fantastic boots which bring him fame and fortune. There’s even a pair of star-crossed lovers of Bingo, a wandering bear, a tabby cat who wears a hat and a whole bunch more in this fabulous book! Colin West’s fun poems are strong in rhyme and rhythm. There is not only magic and mayhem in these ballads, but great charm and warmth to balance the gruesome ends which some of the characters suffer. Colin has combined his love of history and poetry to create a memorable collection jam packed with fun to cause maximum merriment. The pages of Bonkers Ballads are embellished with over a hundred of his own witty illustrations. Colin’s poems have been widely anthologised in both Britain and America. Ken Nesbitt, the former U.S. Children’s Laureate has hailed Colin West ‘a master of the art of humorous poetry for children’. Poet Wendy Cope has said ‘Colin West has a considerable talent as a writer and an illustrator’. If you read this new collection you are likely to agree.

The Funniest Stuff contains over fifty funny poems with equally amusing illustrations created by Colin West. They cover an array of different subjects in a range of various verse forms, strong in rhyme and wordplay. There are crazy creatures like the Snoope and the Lolloping Lollop. There are eccentric characters like Uncle Norman, a traffic warden who likes to keep on his uniform, (even in bed), and Aunt Priscilla, who wrestles a wild gorilla. There are insights into the poet’s world, where Colin eschews personal questions in ‘Don’t Ask Me About Myself’, and gives vent to his feelings about airy-fairy writers in ‘O How I Hate the Poet!’ Black humour is in evidence in short pieces, such as the nature-loving Henrietta and the longer rollicking ballad, Fritz, who liked to frolic in the foothills but whose dreams were sadly crushed. There is even a pastiche of the early Victorian cautionary tale in ‘Belated Bertie’, about a boy who liked to play practical jokes. There is pure nonsense in ‘Under My Uncle’s Umbrella’ and a nod to concrete poetry in ‘I Used To Climb Up Lamp-posts, Sir’. The Funniest Stuff is brimming with humour, wit and charm and is sure to find your funny-bone and give it a good tickle! It will appeal to children aged 8-12.

Herbs and Spices, my chives book, how best to use chives and how to grow chives, and some favorite recipes for cooking with chives.

Although they are very different, Moose and Mouse are good friends.

Synopsis coming soon.......

Toby wants to be a sailor, but all he has for a boat is an old tin tub. One day, Toby paddles far out to sea and is caught up in a terrible storm. Somehow his tiny tub survives, but Toby now finds himself in a very strange land - the home of a Sea Giant! But this giant isn''t scary, he''s sad and lonely; all the creatures in his kingdom are asleep and he can''t discover the sound needed to wake them up. Can Toby help him find out what it is?

The closest relative of manThey say, is the orang-utan;And when I look at GrandpapaI realize how right they are!Jam-packed with the very best nonsense rhymes and tricky tongue-twisters, this wonderfully exuberant collection contains quirky, colour illustrations from Colin West and lashings of his wildly wacky verse! Divided into sections to satisfy nonsense-lovers everywhere, this brilliant bumper book will keep children in fits for hours and may inspire them to become rollicking rhyme-makers themselves! Chapters include: Curious Creatures, Tricky Tongue-twisters, Funny Folk, Moments with Monsters, Dotty Ditties, Vicious Verses, Hopeless History, Stories in Stanzas

The rain wets the grass that feeds the cow whose milk makes the cream in Canuto''s dinner, who is bringing a gift to King Sisebuto.

One afternoon at Grandad''s I came across his old boneshaker bicycle. We mended the tyres, oiled the brakes and polished it all over. Then it was time to test it out.

When I went to stay with Uncle-and-Auntie Pat on their farm I had a brilliant time, but I couldn''t help noticing that hardly anyone visited the farm shop. So I made a wish.

Various animals look for the cunning crocodile, not realizing he is right under their noses.

Bumble-bee buzzes among the animals looking for a friend.

All the animals expected the toucan to spread the word of the elephant''s birthday, but the toucan was the last to know and the last to join the jamboree.

Starting with a butterfly, each successive animal sneezes louder until the elephant blows away the jungle.

Every morning, Katy''s dad puts on his armour and sets off for the castle. Every evening, he tells Katy about his day, fighting dragons. It sounds so exciting that one day, Katy decides to go with him - and gets a big surprise

One of the stories featuring Monty, the dog who wears glasses. He goes to the wrong party, falls in the custard and causes a stir at the cinema. But in the end, he always seems to come out on top.

Relates the humorous adventures of Monty, a very clumsy dog.

Monty the dog who wears glasses is up to his old tricks again. There are five Monty stories in this book.