Best Selling Books by Dave Barry

At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they''ve never been answered before: What''s the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank''s secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner''s projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is \"We Never Show Up.\" The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

In this riveting and adventure-packed follow-up to Peter and the Starcatchers, we discover Peter leaving the relative safety of Mollusk Island—along with his trusted companion Tinker Bell—for the cold, damp streets of London. On a difficult journey across the sea, he and Tink discover the dark and deadly, slithering part-man/part-creature Lord Ombra. It seems that the dreaded Ombra has a variety of mysterious powers including the ability to make shadows disappear.

The humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl.

In this action-packed third installment in the Starcatchers series, Peter and Molly find themselves in the dangerous land of Rundoon, ruled by an evil king who enjoys watching his pet snake consume those who displease him. But that’s just the beginning of problems facing our heroes, who once again find themselves pitted against the evil shadow-creature Lord Ombra in a struggle to save themselves, not to mention the planet. It’s a wild desert adventure, with rockets, carpets, and camels all flying through the air, zooming toward an unforgettable climax...

While Peter is away from the island, James and the other Lost Boys insist on exploring a mysterious cave, despite Shining Pearl and Little Scallop''s warning that it is a dangerous place, inhabited by a creature known as the Goat Taker.

Now in paperback, this #1 BookSense Pick follows the young orphan Peter and his mates as they are dispatched to an island ruled by the evil King Zarboff in this fast-paced, impossible-to-put-down adventure.

Here are four of the funniest books from Dave Barry. Follow his handyman hints and see how easy it is to beat a home into submission; to earning raves as a lover and a parent; and discover the key steps to kicking, scratching and cheating your way up the corporate ladder.

Little Scallop, a princess of the Mollusk tribe, longs to have a real adventure. So late one night, she and her mermaid friends sneak off to dive for pearls. They run into a fierce storm and a strange ship sailed by men who would love to capture a mermaid.

One of the warmest, funniest, and most delightful Christmas stories ever—from Pulitzer Prize-winning author Dave Barry. With fond nostalgia, Dave Barry takes readers back to a simpler time: The year is 1960, and young Doug Barnes is playing a shepherd in the Christmas pageant at St. John’s Episcopal Church—which is a very big deal. But there are problems everywhere. His fellow shepherds are misbehaving, which makes their director, Mrs. Elkins, yell at all of them; the girl he likes is playing Mary opposite a Joseph who is depressingly smart, athletic, and cute; the family dog is doing very poorly, and they have no idea what they’re going to tell Doug’s little sister, Becky, who’s playing one of the Host of Angels and who loves the dog more than anything; and his dad’s just gotten a flat tire, which means they might not even get to the pageant after all. But Christmas is a time of miracles. And for Doug and his family, this will be the most miraculous Christmas of all.

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960s that, along with paisley bell-bottoms & creative sideburns, deserves a rest. Barry gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need

The president of Kprshtskan is plotting to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School in Maryland in order to take over the United States government, but when Toby Harbinger, an ordinary student, makes up his mind finally to win the fair, the terrorists'' plans go awry. 250,000 first printing.

The year is 1901--it''s been twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. Since then, nobody on the island has grown a day older, and the Lost Boys continue their friendship with the Mollusk tribe, and their rivalry with Captain Hook. Meanwhile in London, Molly has married George Darling and is raising three children: Wendy, Michael, and John. One night a visitor appears at her door; it''s James, one of Peter''s original Lost Boys.

Why is this Haggadah different from all other Haggadahs? \"Three comic writers have some fun with Passover. Seders may never be the same.\" — USA Today If you''ve ever suffered through a Seder, you''re well aware that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many hand-washings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that''s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don''t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up. \"[ For This We Left Egypt?] brings a fair measure of levity to a holiday when leavening is banned.\" — New York Jewish Week

A slapstick thriller set in Florida, featuring oddball characters. They include a homeless man who lives in a tree, a student with a squirt gun playing a game called Killer, a couple of real killers, and a terrorist with a nuclear bomb in a suitcase.

When an earthquake strikes Neverland Island, things quickly go very wrong. The Lost Boys'' underground hideaway is flooded, forcing them to leave. Meanwhile a mysterious barrel washes ashore and falls into the hands of the pirates. When their leader, Captain Hook, finds out what''s in the barrel, he hatches an evil plan. But worst of all is the change in the mermaids. These once-peaceful friends of the natives have turned violent, using their needle-sharp teeth to attack anybody who goes into the water. When they injure some members of the native Mollusk tribe, the Mollusk leader, Fighting Prawn, feels he has no choice but to fight back. As the warriors prepare to attack, the Lost Boys and the chief''s daughters, Shining Pearl and Little Scallop, set off on a secret mission to try to make peace with the mermaids. Instead they''re captured by the mermaids, and while in captivity they discover the cause of the problem – the Blood Tide, which is poisoning the lagoon and will eventually kill the mermaids. With time running out, they must try to stop the tide and save the mermaids, as well as themselves. But to do so, they must deal with Captain Hook, whose plan threatens to destroy the Mollusk village and change life on Neverland Island forever.

Wyatt Palmer was a middle-school hero, but that doesn''t count for anything in high school. When a ferret goes missing in this hilarious follow-up to The Worst Class Trip Ever, Wyatt and his friend Matt find themselves as unwanted guests at what turns into the Worst Party Ever! Last year, Wyatt foiled a plot against the president of the United States and became the hero of middle school. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School—home of the Fighting Conch—and Wyatt is a hero no longer; he''s just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt''s best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin''s waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family''s dark and deadly secret. That''s when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.

No book can guarantee you a long and happy relationship, even if the author didn''t know about your secret hygiene problem. But the cover of a book is no place to discuss that. In Dave Barry''s Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, one of America''s most beloved writers turns his keen, if somewhat rheumy, eye to the institution of marriage. Dating. \"These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas.\" Sex. \"I''m afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys.\" Marriage. \"Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It''s important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it.\"

A hilarious handbook from three big-deal award-winning humorists: “I laughed til I plotzed. Did I use that correctly?” —W. Kamau Bell, goyish comedian Immerse yourself in the essence of Jewish humor and culture with A Field Guide to the Jewish People, brought to you by New York Times–bestselling Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and Emmy and Thurber Prize–winning SNL alum Alan Zweibel. Join them as they dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries. Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to enjoy some “bona fide gems” from the authors of For This We Left Egypt? (New York Journal of Books). “No topic is off-limits.” —Kirkus Reviews “Literally has a laugh-out-loud moment on every page, sometimes more than one.” —Bookreporter

The story of the formation of a rock band called the ROCK BOTTOM REMAINDERS, featuring Stephen King, Amy Tan, Matt Groening and many others, who joined together to perform for charity

A syndicated humorist discusses natural breathing and techniques to endure the ordeal of baby showers

Auf einem abgetakelten Kreuzfahrtschiff vor der Küste von Miami, auf dem Glücksspiele veranstaltet werden, treffen sich verschiedene skurrile Typen: Lebenslustige, schlagfertige Senioren, mittelmäßige Musiker, ein gescheiterter Kapitän, Drogendealer und andere Klein und Großkriminelle. Ein Hurrikan und verbrecherische Machenschaften auf dem Schiff führen zu turbulenten Verwicklungen und mörderischen Komplikationen rund um Liebe, Geld und Macht. Doch die Handlung ist nebensächlich. Der amerikanische Autor von satirischen Sachbüchern (zuletzt: \"Die Achse des Blöden\

A collection of single panel comics that the author/illustrator used to record his daily impressions of places he visited while on a year-long journey around the world following his college graduation. Annotated by the author.

No dejes de divertirte, y si ya dejaste de hacerlo, comienza de nuevo. Esta una de las lecciones de Lucy, la perrita de Dave Barry que tiene 70 años perrunos. Parece obvio, pero, como lo demuestra el autor, con frecuencia dejamos que la rutina nos sobrecoja tanto que olvidamos lo más importante: • Presta atención a las personas que amas. No después, ahora. • Suelta la ira, a menos que sea por algo de verdad importante, y casi nunca es el caso. Entre anécdotas y carcajadas, Dave decide, también a sus 70 años, imitar a Lucy (excepto lo de beber del inodoro). En el camino, reconecta con viejos amigos e intenta hacer nuevos, lo que resulta ser un reto, pues a Lucy le gustan las personas mucho más que a él. Además, reflexiona sobre cuestiones profundas, como cuándo está bien mentir o la importancia de agradecer lo que tenemos. Una pequeña joya, ingeniosa y afable, en la que el columnista ganador del Pulitzer nos muestra cómo vivir feliz y plenamente a cualquier edad.

Peter ha pasado una tranquila temporada en la isla Molusco, entretenido en lanzar cocos al capitán Garfio. Sin embargo, el malévolo Lord Ombra vuelve a las andadas: quiere robar el baúl de polvo de estrellas, \x97la substancia que entre otras muchas cualidades, permite que Peter Pan pueda volar y no crecer nunca--. Peter tendrá que partir para Londres, acompañado de Campanilla, en busca de Molly y los Cazadores de estrellas. Lee las nuevas aventuras de Peter Pan, tras Peter Pan y los cazadores de estrellas.

Translation of: Peter and the Starcatchers.

Chroniques déjantées d''Internet... et autres cyberdélires parodie les manuels d''informatique pour Neuneu. De l''âge des cavernes jusqu''à Windows 98, en passant par le traitement de texte, vous saurez enfin comment acheter et installer un ordinateur. L''auteur définit une poignée de termes techniques : \" ... plus un ordinateur possède de RAM (mémoire), plus vite il peut générer un MESSAGE D''ERREUR \". Et puis, c''est meilleur des guides qui vous prend par la main jusqu''au COMDEX à Las Vegas, le festival de Cannes de l''informatique, avec un petit détour par l''Adultdex, l''équivalent des Hot d''Or. Tous les singes de ponctuation bizarroïdes qu''on rencontre sur Internet n''auront plus de secret pour vous et vous deviendrez à votre tour aussi original que tout le monde. Enfin, vous assisterez à des dialogues en direct passionnants (\" Y''a quelqu''un du Texas, ici ? \") ainsi qu''à la fabuleuse histoire d''amour en ligne entre mme Ptate et Ray Adverb.