Best Selling Books by Dave Barry

In this action-packed third installment in the Starcatchers series, Peter and Molly find themselves in the dangerous land of Rundoon, ruled by an evil king who enjoys watching his pet snake consume those who displease him. But that’s just the beginning of problems facing our heroes, who once again find themselves pitted against the evil shadow-creature Lord Ombra in a struggle to save themselves, not to mention the planet. It’s a wild desert adventure, with rockets, carpets, and camels all flying through the air, zooming toward an unforgettable climax...

At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they''ve never been answered before: What''s the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank''s secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner''s projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Delighted to be playing the part of a shepherd in the local Christmas pageant at St. John''s Episcopal Church, Doug Barnes is suddenly confronted by a host of problems--including the misbehavior of his fellow shepherds, the cute boy playing Joseph opposite the girl he likes as Mary, the illness of the family dog, and his dad''s flat tire, which could keep him out of the pageant. 200,000 first printing.

In this riveting and adventure-packed follow-up to Peter and the Starcatchers, we discover Peter leaving the relative safety of Mollusk Island—along with his trusted companion Tinker Bell—for the cold, damp streets of London. On a difficult journey across the sea, he and Tink discover the darkand deadly, slithering part-man/part-creature Lord Ombra. It seems that the dreaded Ombra has a variety of mysterious powers including the ability to make shadows disappear. When Peter reaches London, he sets out to find the indomitable Molly. Together they must combat Ombra’s terrible forces to both protect the Starcatchers and the treasured starstuff and most importantly to rescue Molly’s mother from the clutches of evil. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson have done it again—written a compulsively readable, impossible-to-put-down tale that will delight readers of all ages.

The humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl.

Contains the complete and unabridged texts of: Dave Barry''s guide to marriage and/or sex, Babies and other hazards of sex, Stay fit and healthy until you''re dead, and Claw your way to the top.

A hilarious handbook from three big-deal award-winning humorists: "I laughed til I plotzed. Did I use that correctly?" —W. Kamau Bell, goyish comedian Immerse yourself in the essence of Jewish humor and culture with A Field Guide to the Jewish People, brought to you by New York Times–bestselling Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and Emmy and Thurber Prize–winning SNL alum Alan Zweibel. Join them as they dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries. Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to enjoy some "bona fide gems" from the authors of For This We Left Egypt? ( New York Journal of Books). "No topic is off-limits." — Kirkus Reviews "Literally has a laugh-out-loud moment on every page, sometimes more than one." — Bookreporter

When an earthquake strikes Neverland Island, things quickly go very wrong. The Lost Boys'' underground hideaway is flooded, forcing them to leave. Meanwhile a mysterious barrel washes ashore and falls into the hands of the pirates. When their leader, Captain Hook, finds out what''s in the barrel, he hatches an evil plan. But worst of all is the change in the mermaids. These once-peaceful friends of the natives have turned violent, using their needle-sharp teeth to attack anybody who goes into the water. When they injure some members of the native Mollusk tribe, the Mollusk leader, Fighting Prawn, feels he has no choice but to fight back. As the warriors prepare to attack, the Lost Boys and the chief''s daughters, Shining Pearl and Little Scallop, set off on a secret mission to try to make peace with the mermaids. Instead they''re captured by the mermaids, and while in captivity they discover the cause of the problem – the Blood Tide, which is poisoning the lagoon and will eventually kill the mermaids. With time running out, they must try to stop the tide and save the mermaids, as well as themselves. But to do so, they must deal with Captain Hook, whose plan threatens to destroy the Mollusk village and change life on Neverland Island forever.

Here are four of the funniest books from Dave Barry. Follow his handyman hints and see how easy it is to beat a home into submission; to earning raves as a lover and a parent; and discover the key steps to kicking, scratching and cheating your way up the corporate ladder.

The president of Kprshtskan is plotting to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School in Maryland in order to take over the United States government, but when Toby Harbinger, an ordinary student, makes up his mind finally to win the fair, the terrorists'' plans go awry. 250,000 first printing.

A syndicated humorist discusses natural breathing and techniques to endure the ordeal of baby showers

The year is 1901--it''s been twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. Since then, nobody on the island has grown a day older, and the Lost Boys continue their friendship with the Mollusk tribe, and their rivalry with Captain Hook. Meanwhile in London, Molly has married George Darling and is raising three children: Wendy, Michael, and John. One night a visitor appears at her door; it''s James, one of Peter''s original Lost Boys. He is now working for Scotland Yard and suspects that the heir to England''s throne, Prince Albert Edward, is under the influence of shadow creatures. These shadow creatures are determined to find a secret cache of startstuff which fell to London many centuries ago. The starstuff is hidden in an underground vault which has only one key: the Sword of Mercy, a legendary weapon kept with the Crown Jewels. Molly is determined to help, but when she suddenly goes missing, it is up to her eleven-year-old daughter, Wendy, to keep the starstuff out of the Others'' clutches. She has heard her mother''s stories of a flying boy named Peter Pan, and he may be her only hope in saving the world from a shadowy doom...

"In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he''s serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating--February 24, 2040--I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father''s ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers")"--

A hilarious parody of the Passover Haggadah from three award-winning comedy writers.

While Peter is away from the island, James and the other Lost Boys insist on exploring a mysterious cave, despite Shining Pearl and Little Scallop''s warning that it is a dangerous place, inhabited by a creature known as the Goat Taker.

A COLLECTION OF DAVE BARRY''S ALL-TIME FAVORITE HUMOR COLUMNS.