Most Popular Books by Dave Barry

"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him." --The New York Times Book Review THERE''S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER''S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they''ve never been answered before: What''s the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank''s secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner''s projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.

When Surf the mermaid is captured by the evil Captain Crookshank and his crew, her friends enlist James, one of the Lost Boys, to help rescue her.

In this riveting and adventure-packed follow-up to Peter and the Starcatchers, we discover Peter leaving the relative safety of Mollusk Island—along with his trusted companion Tinker Bell—for the cold, damp streets of London. On a difficult journey across the sea, he and Tink discover the darkand deadly, slithering part-man/part-creature Lord Ombra. It seems that the dreaded Ombra has a variety of mysterious powers including the ability to make shadows disappear. When Peter reaches London, he sets out to find the indomitable Molly. Together they must combat Ombra’s terrible forces to both protect the Starcatchers and the treasured starstuff and most importantly to rescue Molly’s mother from the clutches of evil. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson have done it again—written a compulsively readable, impossible-to-put-down tale that will delight readers of all ages.

Delighted to be playing the part of a shepherd in the local Christmas pageant at St. John''s Episcopal Church, Doug Barnes is suddenly confronted by a host of problems--including the misbehavior of his fellow shepherds, the cute boy playing Joseph opposite the girl he likes as Mary, the illness of the family dog, and his dad''s flat tire, which could keep him out of the pageant. 200,000 first printing.

The humorist presents a selection of more than fifty one-of-a-kind gifts for the discriminating individual, furnishing vendor names, prices, and addresses for such treasures as elephant-print Republican pants and a capsule of rodent bones regurgitated by an owl.

A hilarious handbook from three big-deal award-winning humorists: "I laughed til I plotzed. Did I use that correctly?" —W. Kamau Bell, goyish comedian Immerse yourself in the essence of Jewish humor and culture with A Field Guide to the Jewish People, brought to you by New York Times–bestselling Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and Emmy and Thurber Prize–winning SNL alum Alan Zweibel. Join them as they dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries. Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to enjoy some "bona fide gems" from the authors of For This We Left Egypt? ( New York Journal of Books). "No topic is off-limits." — Kirkus Reviews "Literally has a laugh-out-loud moment on every page, sometimes more than one." — Bookreporter

When an earthquake strikes Neverland Island, things quickly go very wrong. The Lost Boys'' underground hideaway is flooded, forcing them to leave. Meanwhile a mysterious barrel washes ashore and falls into the hands of the pirates. When their leader, Captain Hook, finds out what''s in the barrel, he hatches an evil plan. But worst of all is the change in the mermaids. These once-peaceful friends of the natives have turned violent, using their needle-sharp teeth to attack anybody who goes into the water. When they injure some members of the native Mollusk tribe, the Mollusk leader, Fighting Prawn, feels he has no choice but to fight back. As the warriors prepare to attack, the Lost Boys and the chief''s daughters, Shining Pearl and Little Scallop, set off on a secret mission to try to make peace with the mermaids. Instead they''re captured by the mermaids, and while in captivity they discover the cause of the problem – the Blood Tide, which is poisoning the lagoon and will eventually kill the mermaids. With time running out, they must try to stop the tide and save the mermaids, as well as themselves. But to do so, they must deal with Captain Hook, whose plan threatens to destroy the Mollusk village and change life on Neverland Island forever.

A syndicated humorist discusses natural breathing and techniques to endure the ordeal of baby showers

Why is this Haggadah different from all other Haggadahs? "Three comic writers have some fun with Passover. Seders may never be the same." — USA Today If you''ve ever suffered through a Seder, you''re well aware that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many hand-washings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that''s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don''t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up. "[ For This We Left Egypt?] brings a fair measure of levity to a holiday when leavening is banned." — New York Jewish Week

The president of Kprshtskan is plotting to infiltrate the science fair at Hubble Middle School in Maryland in order to take over the United States government, but when Toby Harbinger, an ordinary student, makes up his mind finally to win the fair, the terrorists'' plans go awry. 250,000 first printing.

The year is 1901--it''s been twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. Since then, nobody on the island has grown a day older, and the Lost Boys continue their friendship with the Mollusk tribe, and their rivalry with Captain Hook. Meanwhile in London, Molly has married George Darling and is raising three children: Wendy, Michael, and John. One night a visitor appears at her door; it''s James, one of Peter''s original Lost Boys. He is now working for Scotland Yard and suspects that the heir to England''s throne, Prince Albert Edward, is under the influence of shadow creatures. These shadow creatures are determined to find a secret cache of startstuff which fell to London many centuries ago. The starstuff is hidden in an underground vault which has only one key: the Sword of Mercy, a legendary weapon kept with the Crown Jewels. Molly is determined to help, but when she suddenly goes missing, it is up to her eleven-year-old daughter, Wendy, to keep the starstuff out of the Others'' clutches. She has heard her mother''s stories of a flying boy named Peter Pan, and he may be her only hope in saving the world from a shadowy doom...

The popular humorist shares his hilarious observations and parenting and fatherhood. Dave Barry isn''t just funny. His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that''s often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life''s absurdities. In "My Teenage Son''s Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old" and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. "Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying."

A slapstick thriller set in Florida, featuring oddball characters. They include a homeless man who lives in a tree, a student with a squirt gun playing a game called Killer, a couple of real killers, and a terrorist with a nuclear bomb in a suitcase.

Dave Barry tackles the fitness industry in this classic spoof of health and diet books everywhere.AUTHORBIO: DAVE BARRY is a Pulitzer Prize-winning Miami Herald journalist whose articles appear in hundreds of newspapers each week. He is the author of more than 20 books and lives in Miami, Florida.

In The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer and Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry Dave goes on a testosterone riff, enlightening all about the intricacies of being male. At higher levels, testosterone causes destructive male behavior, the two most terrible kinds being: 1. War. 2. Do-it-yourself projects.

Here are four of the funniest books from Dave Barry. Follow his handyman hints and see how easy it is to beat a home into submission; to earning raves as a lover and a parent; and discover the key steps to kicking, scratching and cheating your way up the corporate ladder.

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he''s splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims'' first Thanksgiving ("We''ve decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask: ļ What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting? ļ Where do the World''s Three Most Boring People meet? ļ Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads? ļ And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?

While Peter is away from the island, James and the other Lost Boys insist on exploring a mysterious cave, despite Shining Pearl and Little Scallop''s warning that it is a dangerous place, inhabited by a creature known as the Goat Taker.