New Release Books by Judith Viorst

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A little brother imagines how great life will be once he’s bigger than his older brother in this classic, saucy tale of sibling rivalry from master storyteller Judith Viorst. Mother says deep down in his heart Anthony loves me. Anthony says deep down in his heart he thinks I stink. Anthony’s younger brother puts up with a lot. Anthony won’t read to him. Anthony is always threating to clobber him. Anthony thinks he stinks. There’s nothing he can do now…but just wait until he’s six! Then he’ll fix Anthony! Judith Viorst’s funny, classic sibling rivalry story is as timeless as ever.

Lulu is getting the sister she never asked for in this oh-so-funny illustrated chapter book filled with hilarious hijinks and fiesty twists from Judith Viorst. Lulu has received the worst. News. EVER. She’s getting…a baby sister. No one ever asked HER opinion on this debacle. But she’ll tell you anyway, because she no how, no way, no thank you wants a sibling. Undeterred, and to prepare Lulu for big sisterhood, her parents bribe—AHEM, ask—Lulu to attend Camp Sisterhood, a.k.a. big sister training camp. As a Sister-in-Training (SIT), Lulu is assigned a variety of temporary little “siblings” who are supposed to be so much fun Lulu will become excited to have a permanent sibling of her own. Well, no one ever said Camp Sisterhood was supposed to teach Lulu how to be a good big sister, so Lulu resolves to be a bad big sister. She insults her little siblings. She taunts them with secrets. She even tricks one of them into carrying both of their backpacks up a mountain! Then some BITs (brothers-in-training) from the neighboring Camp Brotherhood start picking on Lulu’s siblings, and Lulu responds by doing her red-faced, steam-coming-out-of-her-ears thing and showing those BITs who’s boss! After all, Lulu’s siblings may be duds, but they’re her duds, and sisters have to stick together.

Bringing together some of the best of Judith Viorst’s witty and perceptive poetry—and featuirng the illustrations from the original edition by John Alcorn—Viorst explores the all-too-true ironies and absurdities of being a woman in the modern world. Whether she’s finding herself or finding a sitter, contemplating her sex life as she rubs hormone night cream on her face, or wrestling with the contradiction of falling in love with a man her parents would actually approve of, Viorst transforms the familiar events of daily life into poems that make you laugh with recognition. Here is the young single girl leaving her parents’ home for life in the big city (“No I do not believe in free love/And yes I will be home for Sunday dinners”). Here is the aspiring bohemian with an expensive liberal arts education, getting coffee and taking dictation, “Hoping that someday someone will be impressed/With all I know.” Here is that married woman, coping with motherhood (“The tricycles are cluttering my foyer/The Pop Tart crumbs are sprinkled on my soul”) and fantasy affairs (“I could imagine cryptic conversations, clandestine martinis...and me explaining that long kisses clog my sinuses”) and all-too-real family reunions (“Four aunts in pain taking pills/One cousin in analysis taking notes”). And here she is at mid-life, wondering whether a woman who used to wear a “Ban the Bomb” button can find happiness being a person with a set of fondue forks, a fish poacher, and a wok. Every step of the way, It’s Hard to be Hip Over Thirty and Other Tragedies of Married Life demonstrates once and for all that no one understands American women coming of age like Judith Viorst. *It’s Hard to be Hip Over Thirty and Other Tragedies of Married Life is a reissue of the previous collection originally titled When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices.

And so you’ve reached that time in life when you’re starting to “pick investments over adventure, / And clean over scenic, and comfortable over intense”; when, even though in your heart of hearts you’re much younger, the rest of you is (how did it happen?) forty. Judith Viorst, the wise and witty lady of It’s Hard to Be Hip Over 30 and Other Tragedies of Married Life, is here to guide you through these forty-ish years with poems that reflect the highs, the lows, and the everything-in-betweens of midlife. Viorst playfully considers the prospects of sagging kneecaps, awkward college reunions, and fantasies of love in the afternoon; being baffled by one’s Buddhist bisexual vegetarian Maoist offspring; cholesterol counts, adult-education courses and other atrocities of midlife—which somehow aren’t as painful when you can laugh at them. Filled with warmth, humor, and insight, How Did I Get to Be 40 & Other Atrocities is Judith Viorst at her best.

The newest illustrated poetry collection in beloved author Judith Viorst’s “decade” series (from It’s Hard to Be Hip Over Thirty to Unexpectedly Eighty), exploring, with her signature savvy and humor, what it means to be an impending nonagenarian. In Nearing Ninety, bestselling author Judith Viorst candidly shares the complicated joys and everyday tribulations that await us at the age of ninety, all with a large dose of humor and an understanding that nothing—well, almost nothing—in life should be taken too seriously. While she struggles to make it to midnight on New Year''s Eve, while she’s starting to hear more eulogies than symphonies, while she’ll forever be disheartened by what she weighs (and forever unable to stop weighing herself), there is plenty to cherish at ninety: hanging out with the people she loves. Playing a relentless game of Scrabble. And still sleeping tush-to-tush with the same man to whom she’s been married for sixty years. Accompanied by Laura Gibson’s whimsical illustrations, Nearing Ninety’s amusing and touching reflections make this collection relatable to readers of all ages. With the wisdom and spunk of someone who’s seen it all, Viorst gently reminds us that everybody gets old, and that the best medicine at any age is laughter.

This irresistible illustrated chapter book starring Judith Viorst’s Lulu is full of hilarious hijinks, delightful twists, and a top-secret mission! This hilarious collection includes: Lulu and the Brontosaurus Lulu Walks the Dogs Lulu’s Mysterious Mission Lulu Is Getting a Sister

“Highly entertaining…Sit back in the bubbles and enjoy.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer Brenda Kovner, a newspaper advice columnist and amateur psychologist in 1990s Washington DC, doesn’t consider herself intrusive, just extremely interested in helping. If she knows the answer, she can’t shut up—even if no one’s listening. Since Brenda knows what’s best—for everyone—she secretly decides she must murder her son Wally’s prospective father-in-law, before he can get to Wally. She has a foolproof plan. In fact, she has a million of them. But first she’s got a few kinky desires of her own to satisfy.

From the beloved and internationally bestselling author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, Judith Viorst comes a collection of wry and witty poems that touch on every aspect of the roller-coaster ride that is childhood. Did you wake up this morning all smiley inside? Does life taste like ice cream and cake? Or does it seem more like your goldfish just died And your insides are one great big ache? From school to family to friends, from Grrrr to Hooray!, Judith Viorst takes us on a tour of feelings of all kinds in this thoughtful, funny, and charming collection of poetry that’s perfect for young readers just learning to sort out their own emotions.

The legendary author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day turns her attention to marriage in a collection of poems that explores the peeves and pleasures of a long marriage...and what lies beyond. Judith Viorst began publishing poetry in the 1960s in New York magazine, and since then, her works have celebrated life’s milestones with wit and poignancy. Married for fifty-five years, she now casts a rueful, experienced eye on the amusing annoyances and deep satisfactions of a long marriage...and what a couple must inevitably confront together. Enriched by Stephen Campbell’s charming, full-color illustrations, this touching, wise, and funny book will surely bring a smile of recognition to anyone who has been in a long marriage. A wonderful gift for a parent, a grandparent, or your own eternal someone, Wait for Me is a celebration of the lasting power of married love.

The rest of Alexander''s family is moving a thousand miles away, but there''s NO way Alexander is going to leave his best friend, his favorite babysitter, or all the places and people he''s known all his life. Even if he has to live in a tree house or a

Judith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children''s books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother''s Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year. Now Judith Viorst looks at what it''s like to be (gulp) fifty. Writing with the warmth and authenticity that have become her trademarks, Viorst once again demonstrates her uncanny ability to transform our daily realities into poems that make us laugh with recognition. Whether her subject is the decline of the body ("It''s hard to be devil-may-care/When there are pleats in your derrière") or future aspirations ("Before I go, I''d like to have high cheekbones./I''d like to talk less like New Jersey, and more like Claire Bloom"), she always speaks directly to our condition. Her funny, compassionate poems shed a reassuring light on the fine art of aging, and will delight anyone who is now (or forever) fifty.

In her remarkable national bestseller, Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst explored how we are shaped by the various losses we experience throughout our lives. Now, in her wise and perceptive new book, Imperfect Control, she shows us how our sense of self and all our important relationships are colored by our struggles over control: over wanting it and taking it, loving it and fearing it, and figuring out when the time has come to surrender it. Writing with compassion, acute psychological insight, and a touch of her trademark humor, Viorst invites us to contemplate the limits and possibilities of our control. She shows us how our lives can be shaped by our actions and our choices. She reminds us, too, that we sometimes should choose to let go. And she encourages us to find our own best balance between power and surrender.

On the day of the talent show, a boy is ready to sing his song, and he isn''t one bit scared because he has practiced a billion times, plus he''s wearing his lucky blue boots and his pants with all ten pockets. But as all of the other kids perform before him, he gets more and more nervous. How the boy overcomes his fear of performing in front of the class makes a charming and funny read-aloud, complete with ten novelty flaps to lift. Note to Readers: Tap on images with golden borders to see more! A Margaret Ferguson Book

Alexander tries his hand at behaving in this hilarious companion to the bestselling classic Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Last night somebody ate a whole box of jelly donuts. That somebody woke up with a terrible bellyache, and that somebody’s mom found the empty box and told that somebody that there are going to be consequences. That somebody is Alexander, and Alexander really hates consequences. So from now on, he is going to try his best to be the Best Boy Ever. For the complete and entire rest of his life. Starting right this very minute. But there are all sorts of things that you can’t do when you’re being the Best Boy Ever. Fun things. Very important things. Things that Alexander might—just might—like a little bit more than he hates consequences.

When Lulu''s parents go on vacation, the formidable Ms. Sonia Sofia Solinsky comes to babysit and Lulu behaves as badly as possible to get her to leave until Ms. Solinsky reveals her secret.

Lulu needs help from a boy named Fleischman if she is to earn money walking her neighbors'' dogs, and she finds out that if she wants her business venture to succeed, she has to be nice.

It''s Lulu''s birthday and she''s decided she''d like a pet brontosaurus as a present. But when Lulu''s parents tell her that''s not possible, Lulu gets veryupset. She does not like it when things don''t go her way. So taking matters into her own hands Lulu storms off into the forest to find herself a new pet, all the way singing: I''m gonna, I''m gonna, I''m gonna, gonna, get a bronto-bronto-bronto-bronto-saurus for a pet! In the forest Lulu encounters a number of animals: a snake, a tiger, a bear, all of whom don''t particularly impress her. And then she finds him... a beautiful, long-necked, gentle, graceful brontosaurus. And he completely agrees with Lulu that having a pet would be a wonderful thing indeed! Lulu thinks she''s finally got her birthday wish. Until she realises that Mr Brontosaurus thinks that shewould make an ideal pet for him! How will Lulu ever get out of this sticky situation without throwing a fit (Mr B does not respond well to those), or using force (Mr B is much too tall to bonk on the head with her suitcase), or smushing her sandwich?

Anthony has two dollars and three quarters and one dime and seven nickels and eighteen pennies. Nicholas has one dollar and two quarters and five dimes and five nickels and thirteen pennies. Alexander has...bus tokens. And even when he''s rich, pretty soon all he has is bus tokens. He was rich. Last Sunday. Grandma Betty and Grandpa Louie came and gave Anthony and Nicholas and Alexander each a dollar. Alexander was saving his. Maybe for a walkie-talkie. And then there was bubble gum, some bets with Anthony and Nicholas (that Alexander lost), a snake rental, a garage sale, and all kinds of other things to spend money on. And now all he has is bus tokens. When he used to be rich last Sunday.

He could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. He went to sleep with gum in his mouth and woke up with gum in his hair. When he got out of bed, he tripped over his skateboard and by mistake dropped his sweater in the sink while the water was running. He could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Nothing at all was right. Everything went wrong, right down to lima beans for supper and kissing on TV. What do you do on a day like that? Well, you may think about going to Australia. You may also be glad to find that some days are like that for other people too.

When Alexander feels mad or dad he wants to move to Australia. But most of the time he likes it right where he is. So when his mom and dad say that they''re moving a thousand miles away, Alexander decides that he''s not going. Never, Not ever. No way. Uh uh. N.O. For how can he leave his best friend or his favorite sitter or Seymour the cleaners? he''d rather stay and live in a tree house or cave. And even though Nick calls him puke-face and Anthony says he''s immature, he''s not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) going to move.

Judith Viorst returns with more poems in her “Decades” poetry series detailing the highs and lows of being an octogenarian. Continuing the comedic insight from I’m Too Young to be Seventy, these verses of memories and advice from eighty years of love, marriage, and grandchildren are sure to bring laughs. What does it mean to be eighty? In her wise and playful poems, Judith Viorst discusses love, friendship, grand parenthood, and all the particular marvels—and otherwise—of this extraordinary decade. She describes the wonder of seeing the world with new eyes—not because of revelation but because of a successful cataract operation. She promises not to gently fade away, and not to drive after daylight’s faded away either. She explains how she’s gotten to be a “three-desserts” grandmother (“Just don’t tell your mom!”), shares how memory failure can keep you married, and enumerates her hopes for the afterlife (which she doesn’t believe in, but if it does exist, her sister-in-law better not be there with her). As Viorst gleefully attests, eighty is not too old to dream, to flirt, to drink, and to dance. It’s also not too late to give up being cheap or to take up with a younger man of seventy-eight. Zesty, hopeful, and full of the pleasures of living, Viorst’s poems speak to her legions of readers, who recognize themselves in her knowing observations, in her touching reflections, and in her joyful affirmations. Funny, moving, inspirational, and true—the newest in Judith Viorst’s beloved “decades” series extols the virtues, victories, frustrations, and joys of life.

A young girl uses various arguments to convince her parents to let her have her ears pierced.

From grief and mourning to aging and relationships, poet and Redbook contributor Judith Viorst presents a thoughtful and researched study in this examination of love, loss, and letting go. Drawing on psychoanalysis, literature, and personal experience, Necessary Losses is a philosophy for understanding and accepting life’s inevitabilities. In Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are a certain and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers’ protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life affirming and life changing.

With all his family busy, a little boy feels that he is the only one left in the house.

Although marriage is for grown-ups, very few of us are grown up when we marry. Here, the bestselling author of Suddenly Sixty and Necessary Losses presents her life-affirming perspective on the joys, heartaches, difficulties, and possibilities of a grown-up marriage -- and no, that''s not an oxymoron! Featuring interviews with married women and men, the findings of couples therapists, the truths offered by literature and movies, and a bemused exploration of her own marriage, Judith Viorst illuminates the issues couples struggle with from "I do" through "till death do us part." Examining marital rivalry, marital manners, marital sex (extramarital, too), marital fighting and apologies, what kids do for (and to) marriage, and the boredom and bliss of everyday married life, Viorst leaves no marital stone unturned. From the early years when we wonder "Who is this person?" and "What am I doing here?" to the realities of divorce, remarriage, and growing older (and old) together, Viorst offers insights and advice with honesty, humanity, and humor -- all the while recognizing how tough it is to be married and, when it works, how very precious it can be.

Bringing together all of Viorst''s best-loved poetry, this collection includes many of the poet''s previously out-of-print favorites.

The beloved author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with wry good humor. Fans of Viorst’s funny, touching, and wise decades poems will love these verses filled with witty advice and reflections on marriage, milestones, and middle-aged children. The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty now tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor. Fans of Judith Viorst''s funny, touching, and wise poems about turning thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty will love this new volume for the woman who deeply believes she is too young to be seventy, "too young in my heart and my soul, if not in my thighs." Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they''re still my children," and when she graciously -- but not too graciously -- selects her husband''s next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here''s the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy." I''m Too Young to Be Seventy is a joy to read and makes a heartwarming gift for anyone who has reached or is soon to reach that -- it''s not so bad after all -- seventh decade.

Judith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children’s books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother’s Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year. Whatever became of Alexander after that famously bad day? And did you know that Judith Viorst is his mother? And what happens to her passion for household neatness and orderliness, her deep devotion to schedules, her compulsive yearning to offer helpful advice when Alexander— now grown up, married, and the father of three—moves his family into his parents’ house? What happens is controlled, and sometimes not so controlled, chaos, as lives and routines are turned upside down and the house is overrun with scattered toys, pacifiers, baby bottles, sippy cups, pink-sequined flip-flops, jigsaw puzzles, and fishy crackers. With her characteristic sparkle and wit, Viorst relates her efforts to (graciously) share space, to become (if only a little bit) more flexible, to (sort of) keep her opinions to herself, and even to eventually figure out how to unlock the safety locks of the baby''s (expletives deleted) bouncy seat. She describes how she and her husband, while sometimes longing for the former peace and tranquility of unravished rooms and quiet dinners for two unaccompanied by cries of “Oh, yuck!” survived and relished the extended visit of the Alexander Five. She also opens our eyes to the joys of multigenerational family living and to the unexpected opportunities to grow that life presents—even under the most unlikely circumstances. Several generations of readers surely will relate to this funny and loving book, enhanced throughout by Laura Gibson’s delightful two-color drawings.