New Release Books by Karen Alpert

Karen Alpert is the author of Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes (2021), I Want My Epidural Back (2016), I Heart My Little A-Holes (2014) and I Just Want to Be Alone (2014).

For more book recommendations, please check out New York Times® Best Sellers, Children's Book Recommendations or the complete list of Featured Book Lists and Award Winners

4 results found

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes

release date: Apr 27, 2021
Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be A-Holes
Do you ever feel like you’re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you. From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don''t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you. Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like: You Are Not Your Kiddo''s Servantu200b Picasso''s Mom Didn''t Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy If They Say "I Hate You," Then You''re Probably Doing It Right Mamas Don''t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you’re having coffee (and a little sumpin'' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids* *not a guarantee

I Want My Epidural Back

release date: Apr 05, 2016
I Want My Epidural Back
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.

I Heart My Little A-Holes

release date: Apr 08, 2014
I Heart My Little A-Holes
Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it''s all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he''s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she''s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they''re a-holes. At times like these, it''s only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it''s against the law (and there''s the suicide hotline). Plus, there''s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you''ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

I Just Want to Be Alone

I Just Want to Be Alone
The second volume in the best-selling I Just Want to Pee Alone series! Don''t get us wrong, we love the men in our lives -- we do (most of the time). It''s just that sometimes we would like them to go away. Not forever or anything like that. Just for an hour ... or a day ... or a weekend. We want some time to ourselves to read a good book or take a walk or do anything other than try to make a dent in the never ending mound of dirty clothes that keeps piling up on his side of the bed. We just want to be alone. All alone. Is that too much to ask? I Just Want to Be Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most Super Cool Lady Writers you''ll find on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Baby Sideburns, A.K. Turner, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream, and Bad Parenting Moments.
4 results found


  • Aboutread.com makes it one-click away to discover great books from local library by linking books/movies to your library catalog search.

  • Copyright © 2022 Aboutread.com