Best Selling Books by Mike Bloemer

Shawn Farmer and Harold O'Connell have been mortal enemies ever since kindergarten, when Shawn pointed out to the entire class that Harold peed his pants. Harold also has beef with Shawn's father, William Henry Harrison Middle School football coach Sam Farmer. So when Harold finds out his mother has been secretly dating Coach Farmer, he is understandably upset. And when Coach Farmer proposes to his mother at an all-you-can-eat buffet, it's understandable when he completely flips. Fortunately Harold has an ally on his side. the school bully himself, Shawn. Like Harold, Shawn realizes a merger of the Farmer and O'Connell clans will completely obliterate his standing as the most popular guy in school. Harold and Shawn form an unholy alliance and strive to stop the wedding from heck. This task is easier said than done, however. Coach Farmer and Ms. O'Connell are deeply in love, and they're not breaking up without a fight, no matter how many times Harold and Shawn sabotage their wedding plans. But that's not what troubles Harold the most. What he is most troubled by is the fact that, as he and his former nemesis spend more time together, they are slowly yet surely becoming friends. At William Henry Harrison Middle School, the school bully and the school nerd becoming best buds is like a lion singing Kumbaya with a zebra. Will Harold and Shawn succeed in their dastardly plot to stop their parents' wedding, or will they allow their emerging friendship to blossom and throw their schools' social order out of whack? The School Bully Is My Brother is a simultaneously hilarious and sweet take on middle school life. It should appeal to any kid who must deal with bullies. Likewise, it should appeal to the bullies out there who like to dish out torment (and hopefully convince them that nerds and geeks aren't all that bad). Think of it as Modern Family meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid. This novel is unique in that it features characters of different races, religions, sexual orientations, and socio-economic backgrounds, and most kids (and adults) will appreciate the books' message of inclusiveness.

Like a lot of 12-year old kids, Ben Boomer finds his family embarrassing. Unlike a lot of kids, Ben's family consists of professional wrestlers who embarrass him on national television. That's the premise of "The Adventures of Hairball & 'Hot Flash' Granny".

All his life Ben Boomer has idolized his pro-wrestling parents, Hairball and Psycho Momma. And his greatest hero has always been his wrestling granny, 'Hot Flash' Granny. But now that he's getting older, Ben's family members don't seem as cool as they used to. In Ben's defense, it is rather difficult to climb the middle school social ladder when his granny is whacking his dad with a steel chair on national television.

Ben's crazy family soon becomes the least of his worries. Terrence Grand, the most popular kid in school, seems to thrive off of picking on Ben and his socially awkward friends. Ben finally has enough and joins the wrestling team so he can beat up Terrence in front of the entire school. Ben regrets his wacky plan, however, when he realizes just how tough wrestling try-outs truly are. In order to face off against his arch-rival, Ben must gain 20 pounds in 4 weeks. Even worse, Terrence's dad is the wrestling coach… and he does everything he can to make Ben's life miserable.

Ben's problems pile up when he's drawn into a bizarre conspiracy involving his family. Ronald Rump, the evil CEO of Kings Wrestling Federation, has decided to move his juggernaut corporation to Chicago. And he has only one goal in mind: the complete destruction of Hairball and 'Hot Flash' Granny's wrestling company. If Ronald wins the so-called wrestling wars, then Ben's mom, dad, and granny will be unemployed. Ben also struggles to woo the hottest girl in school, survive Ms. Wolf's soul-crushing history class, and unite the nerds in a rebellion against Terrence and his army of jocks. Needless to say, poor Ben has a lot of problems, and not a lot of time to solve them.

13-year old Jesse Baxter joins forces with his mad scientist uncle, Mad Doc Xander, to take down the world's most dangerous eco-terrorist, a man who believes the best way to save the world from global warming… is by destroying it.

Jesse Baxter and his adopted siblings (a sister from Brazil and a sister from Darfur) are enjoying a rare family vacation when they are attacked by an evil arms trafficker by the name of Aladdin Salazar, aka the “Merchant of Death”. After putting up a tough fight, Jesse and his family succumb to Aladdin's forces. They soon learn Aladdin is after the “Fountain of Youth”, a vaccine engineered by Jesse's mad scientist uncle, Mad Doc Xander. This vaccine is purported to cure every disease known to man. It can also be used to extend life indefinitely. In essence, the vaccine quite literally cures death.

Once Doctor Xander learns of the extortion plot, he devises a wacky plan to save his beloved family. He gives Aladdin a fake version of the vaccine, busts his family out of the madman's flying airship, and heads back to the U.S., hailed as a hero.

There is a major flaw with Doc's vaccine, however. If weaponized, the vaccine can become a fast-spreading, incurable virus. That's why Doc gave Aladdin a fake version of the vaccine. But Doc soon discovers Aladdin wanted the immortality vaccine for his terminally ill son. And now Aladdin is furious his son is sicker than ever. So furious, in fact, that he wants to turn Doc's “Fountain of Youth” into a “Fountain of Death”. And only Jesse Baxter and his siblings can stop him.

13-year old Yin Stryker gets the shock of his life when he starts receiving text messages… from the future. Yin must use these time-traveling texts to stop a global holocaust. That's the basic premise of INFERNO RISING, the action-packed sequel to THE FOUNTAIN OF DEATH.

Yin Stryker's life is pretty crazy. He and his twin sister, Yang, are 13-year old black belt ninjas who live and train with their 62-year old Granny sensei. They've won countless ninja contests and they've traveled the world with their celebrity grandmother (who is a famous war hero). But Yin's life takes a fantastic turn when, after getting a new phone on his birthday, he starts receiving mysterious texts from the future forecasting terrible events.

When Yin receives a text at 3:00am warning him the Governor of California is about to be assassinated, he thinks it's a sick joke. He turns the phone off, goes back to bed, and does his best to forget it. But when he goes to school the next day, he's shocked when a teacher informs him the Governor has just been shot. Yin immediately turns his phone back on and begins a correspondence that thrusts him and his family into an adventure that seems to defy the laws of physics. A Phantom from the future is trying to stop a terrorist attack that, if allowed to commence, will turn Earth into a barren wasteland. Yin and his family must use information provided by The Phantom to thwart the attack. If they fail, millions will perish.

The technology behind the time-traveling texts is based on real science. The novel also briefly discusses the science behind time travel, parallel universes, and other amazing phenomena. This is a great read for kids, parents, teachers, and anyone who wants to learn more about cutting-edge scientific breakthroughs and research.

Like a lot of 12-year old kids, Ben Boomer finds his family embarrassing. Unlike a lot of kids, Ben's family consists of professional wrestlers who embarrass him on national television. That's the premise of Bodyslam: The Adventures of Hairball & 'Hot Flash' Granny. All his life Ben Boomer has idolized his pro-wrestling parents, Hairball and Psycho Momma. And his greatest hero has always been his wrestling granny, 'Hot Flash' Granny. But now that he's getting older, Ben's family members don't seem as cool as they used to. In Ben's defense, it is rather difficult to climb the middle school social ladder when his granny is whacking his dad with a steel chair on national television. Ben's crazy family soon becomes the least of his worries. Terrence Grand, the most popular kid in school, seems to thrive off of picking on Ben and his socially awkward friends. Ben finally has enough and joins the wrestling team so he can beat up Terrence in front of the entire school. Ben regrets his wacky plan, however, when he realizes just how tough wrestling try-outs truly are. In order to face off against his arch-rival, Ben must gain 20 pounds in 4 weeks. Even worse, Terrence's dad is the wrestling coach… and he does everything he can to make Ben's life miserable. Ben's problems pile up when he's drawn into a bizarre conspiracy involving his family. Ronald Rump, the evil CEO of Kings Wrestling Federation, has decided to move his juggernaut corporation to Chicago. And he has only one goal in mind: the complete destruction of Hairball and 'Hot Flash' Granny's wrestling company. If Ronald wins the so-called wrestling wars, then Ben's mom, dad, and granny will be unemployed. Ben also struggles to woo the hottest girl in school, survive Ms. Wolf's soul-crushing history class, and unite the nerds in a rebellion against Terrence and his army of jocks. Needless to say, poor Ben has a lot of problems, and not a lot of time to solve them.