Best Selling Books by Pseudonymous Bosch

Beware! Dangerous secrets lie between the pages of this book. OK, I warned you. But if you think I''ll give anything away, or tell you that this is the sequel to my first literary endeavor, The Name of This Book is Secret, you''re wrong. I''m not going to remind you of how we last left our heroes, Cass and Max-Ernest, as they awaited intiation into the mysterious Terces Society, or the ongoing fight against the evil Dr. L and Ms. Mauvais. I certainly won''t be telling you about how the kids stumble upon the Museum of Magic, where they finally meet the amazing Pietro! Oh, blast! I''ve done it again. Well, at least I didn''t tell you about the missing Sound Prism, the nefarious Lord Pharaoh, or the mysterious creature born in a bottle over 500 years ago, the key to the biggest secret of all. I really can''t help myself, now can I? Let''s face it - if you''re reading this, it''s too late.

Read the series that''s sold more than 2 million copies—if you dare! Warning: this description has not been authorized by Pseudonymous Bosch. As much as he''d love to sing the praises of his book (he is very vain), he wouldn''t want you to hear about his brave 11-year old heroes, Cass and Max-Ernest. Or about how a mysterious box of vials, the Symphony of Smells, sends them on the trail of a magician who has vanished under strange (and stinky) circumstances. And he certainly wouldn''t want you to know about the hair-raising adventures that follow and the nefarious villains they face. You see, not only is the name of this book secret, the story inside is, too. For it concerns a secret. A Big Secret.

WARNING! Appearances can be deceptive...This book is NOT filled with ancient magic, mystical clairvoyants and the marvels of time travel. This is NOT a book detailing the latest top secret investigations of the Terces Society. You will NOT find stolen treasure, masked bandits and bloodthirsty knights between the pages of this book. But before you go, just remember one thing... This Isn''t What It Looks Like. The utterly gripping fourth fantastic book in the "Secret" series in which Cass''s mind has been transported back to medieval England after she dared to taste the Midnight Sun''s deadly chocolate. She must seek out her ancient ancestor and founder of the Terces Society, the jester, and help him escape the evil clutches of Lord Pharaoh, founder of the Midnight Sun. To Cass''s horror, when she wakes from her coma she has forgotten everything. But a school trip to a medieval fair stirs her memories and she is confronted with a menacing blast from her time-travelling past... "The crazy, upside-down, inside-out, mysterious, madcap and fun, fun, fun Pseudonymous Bosch is back with another extraordinary, out-of-this-world chapter in his seriously addictive children''s ‘Secret Series''. Bursting out all over with comic characters and intriguing adventures, this is... top-class entertainment for kids aged 10 and over, combining comical capers with old-fashioned mystery, sparkling adventure and lashings of Bosch''s zany humour." - Lancashire Evening Post

The finale to the New York Times bestselling Secret Series! I always feared this day would come. A secret is meant to stay secret, after all. And now we''ve come to this: the fifth and final (I swear!) book in my saga of secrets. A class trip to the local natural history museum turns dangerous, or perhaps deadly--and I don''t mean in the bored-to-death way--when Cass accidentally breaks a finger off a priceless mummy. Forced to atone for this ""crime"" of vandalism, Cass and her friends Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji go to work for the mummy exhibit''s curator, only to be blamed when tragedy strikes. To clear their names--and, they hope, to discover the Secret--the trio must travel deep into a land of majestic pyramids, dusty tombs, mysterious hieroglyphs, and the walking dead. Egypt? Or somewhere much stranger . . . In the midst of it all, the Secret still lurks. You''re out there, reading and talking about it, and now my life--and chocolate supply--is in the greatest danger yet. So please, with a cherry on top, I''m begging you: you have to stop this!

This imaginative companion to the New York Times bestselling Secret Series teases, prompts, and leads readers through the steps of writing a story. Bosch''s signature rip-roaring voice delivers an engaging narrative (for the reader to help complete!) and interactive puzzles and games. Readers get the chance to create their own story while enjoying a satisfying mystery as well. Here''s a note from our fearless "author":I feared this might happen. I knew reading was a dangerous business, but now it''s not safe for writers either! You see, the author of this book is missing. Well, maybe not "missing." A certain author whom I won''t name (okay, me) has abandoned his book and has left his readers hanging out to dry. This is a crime, I admit, but there it is. Most of this book, well, I just haven''t written it. And I''m not going to, either. Why? Oh, I have my reasons. Big. Grown up. Author. Reasons. Unfortunately, I can''t reveal them yet. Let''s just say a life is at stake (mine) and leave it at that. So will you do it? Pretty please? You''ll do it? Thank you! But please hurry! Time is of the essence and you can''t wait any longer. You must WRITE THIS BOOK!

For those foolish enough to have read "The Name of this Book is Secret" and too foolhardy to have turned away from "If You''re Reading This, It''s Too Late", the third book in the series is best avoided. This book contains none of the following: A cursed Aztec artefact, an evil and deranged chef, a secret jungle lair inhabited by cocoa-crazed monkeys, the most dangerous chocolate ever created. Never visit www.keepthesecret.co.uk if you know what''s good for you. "What child could resist it? A deliciously dark and chocolatey book full of big chunks of crazy humour and a cast of mouth-watering characters... "This Book is Not Good for You" is actually very good for you...the teasing, topsy-turvy world created by the scrumptious Mr Bosch is guaranteed to have you laughing all the way to the next instalment." - Lancashire Evening Post

This book is incredibly BAD. It does not contain MAGIC. Or a mysterious ghost girl. Or spontaneous combustion. Or Spanish-speaking llamas. Nope. None of these things. Okay... maybe one of these things. But certainly not MAGIC. It’s just an ordinary tale of a normal boy who goes to summer camp on a desert island. Nothing exciting or weird happens. The camp is definitely NOT for crazy, badly-behaved kids, and there are NO SECRETS or MYSTERIES at all. And absolutely NO MAGIC whatsoever...

From the author of the bestselling Secret Series comes this funny chapter-book mystery about a third-grade magician and the wisecracking rabbit who is the secret brains behind his act. Eight-year-old Oliver dreams of being a professional magician, even though he has terrible stage fright. And now, his friends Teenie and Bea have gotten him invited to a classmate''s birthday party as the paid entertainment! Desperate for help, he visits The Great Zoocheeni''s Magic Emporium, but comes away with nothing more than a moth-eaten top hat. Oliver is in for a lucky surprise, though. Inside that top hat hides a wisecracking rabbit named Benny, who agrees to help Oliver with his act. But at the party, Oliver is accused of robbery! He''ll need to solve the mystery of the missing robo-cat to clear his name before he and Benny can amaze the crowd with their grand finale.

The can''t-miss final installment of beloved author Pseudonymous Bosch''s bestselling Bad Books trilogy! At Earth Ranch, Clay encountered a haunted library, a castaway boy, and a fire-breathing dragon--not to mention incredible magic. Now he faces his most dangerous foes yet: the mysterious white-gloved members of the Midnight Sun, whose scheming leads Clay to a dragon reserve. Up against impossible odds, will Clay and his Secret Series Allies be able to triumph over these villains once and for all? Packed with action, humor, magic, mystery, and dragons, Pseudonymous Bosch answers long-simmering questions as he delivers his most exciting adventure yet.

Jack Kaiser is a professor of English at a Los Angeles community college. He presents himself as an enlightened, politically progressive metrosexual teaching courses with names like Film and Feminism. In his free time, however, he prowls the brothels of Tijuana and the sex-tourism hot spots of Cuba. Without his being consciously aware of it, his classroom lectures begin to turn into psychodramas in which he attempts to reconcile the contradictory worlds in which he lives. His life is brought to crisis when he busts a female student for plagiarism and she responds with a bogus sexual harassment charge that becomes a lawsuit. Kaiser, awaiting trial and seeking some kind of redemption, precipitously undertakes a mission to smuggle books into Cuba to deliver to a mysterious fellow named Lázaro Perdomo. His trip becomes an odyssey through Havana''s sexual underground, a world of party girls, drag queens and Santería, and culminates with a final confrontation in a Los Angeles courtroom.

Reader, beware! This is a BAD book. A VERY BAD book that will bring you nothing but BAD LUCK. Luckily no one would want to read it as it is extremely BORING and contains NO ADVENTURE whatsoever. No magic. No betrayal. And NO DRAGONS. No flying dragons. No fire-breathing dragons. No dragon hunters. ABSOLUTELY NO DRAGONS. The only reason anyone would DARE read this book is if they are VERY BAD and never do what they''re told. And you always do what you''re told. Don''t you?

In this second hilarious installment of the series that Kirkus called "ridiculous fun," Oliver is performing at a wedding rehearsal when one of the grooms goes missing in the middle of his magic act! Oliver is new to the magical arts. In fact, he has only performed one act so far, and that one was interrupted by a theft-in-progress that he, his friends the twins Teenie and Bea, and his wisecracking rabbit, Benny, managed to thwart. Now Oliver has been hired for an even more important gig: a wedding. Teenie and Bea''s fathers are finally getting married, and Oliver is supposed to entertain at the rehearsal brunch. He has chosen the classic sawed-in-half trick, which will be especially amusing when he calls up the grooms as volunteers. What could go wrong? Except that weddings are supposed to be about bringing people together, not splitting them up . . . and before the trick is over, one of the fathers will have disappeared. Luckily, Oliver seems to be a better sleuth than a magician!

Fra le pagine di questo libro è nascosto il segreto del cioccolato migliore del mondo. Vi ho forse fatto venire la tentazione di leggerle? Se la risposta è sì, devo avvertirvi che le cose più deliziose non fanno mai bene alla salute... Non insistete. Non vi posso svelare che in questa avventura la madre di Cass viene rapita dal sinistro chef e cioccolatiere cieco, il Señor Hugo! E non dovete assolutamente sapere che il riscatto richiesto è il leggendario Diapason Culinario. Riusciranno Cass e Max-Ernest a trovare il magico strumento prima che sia troppo tardi? E sapranno svelare qual è il maligno ingrediente segreto, motivo del successo del cioccolato del Señor Hugo? No, non dovevo farvi domande, perché adesso vi sarà venuta una gran voglia di leggere il libro, lo so. Se è così... assaggiate pure, ma con estrema cautela... perché questo libro potrebbe farvi male. Molto.

Dos niños tienen que resolver la extraña desaparición de un mago.

Te prometo que tus papilas gustativas vibrarán y tu paladar cantará de alegría. Oh... vaya, ¿te he animado a leer este libro? Te advierto que, sin embargo, las cosas más deliciosas no siempre son buenas... Y esta historia es de lo más exquista. En esta aventura la madre de Cas ha sido secuestrada por el siniestro chocolatero Señor Hugo. ¿Podrán encontrar Cas y Max-Ernest el maligno ingrediente antes de que sea demasiado tarde? Si tienes muchas ganas prueba un trocito. Pero no lo olvides: Esta libro no es bueno para ti.