New Releases by Andy Jones

With even more hilarious jokes, trivia, facts and cartoons, THE FARTIONARY 2: THE FOLLOW THROUGH is guaranteed to be a hit with kids everywhere! A book with more POP, BANG and CRACKLE than a 100-year-old vintage car fuelled on baked beans! Who farts? The why, when and how of farting ... Farting by age, location and climate ... The Whoopee Cushion ... why? All this and much, much more will be revealed by self-proclaimed fart guru to the stars, the ''Fart Whisperer'' himself, ANDY JONES! Ably assisted by his go-to gas consultant, world-renowned ''fart-ologist'', Dr Windee Wendy (BScGAS, PhdWind). Science! Facts! Comedy! Rap! Poetry! All things gassy will be discussed, dissected and disposed of in this deliciously whiffy raspberry romp. So get ready to let one rip with THE FARTIONARY 2: THE FOLLOW-THROUGH!

Helen Nu-Pieds aux neuf orteils, élevée par des ours et armée de son lance-pierre, affronte des géants terribles dans une aventure drôle et pleine de surprises où l''ingéniosité est sa plus grande force.

The unmissable follow-up to BOB VS THE SELFIE ZOMBIES, perfect for fans of DAVID SOLOMONS, DAVID BADDIEL and GREG JAMES & CHRIS SMITH. AI is threatening to take over the world, and our last hope is a 12-year-old boy called Bob. Bob, an accidental time-traveller, should be doing his homework but instead he''s bouncing in and out of the year 2049 - and life in the future seriously stinks! When Bob''s science-class experiment goes wrong, he causes a global aroma-virus pandemic - also known as the farting flu. The grumpy school inspector has his eye on Bob and detention looms. But Bob''s got bigger problems. He must face robot gorillas, an evil computer and giant patrol insects to save the world from a very farty future . . . ? Hold your noses for an adventure to the year 2049 and back!

Sometimes love is blind to see and Sometimes love is chemistry, The book is all about Poetry, emotions, devotions, adulations, admiration, and all the chemistry that love connects throughout a relationship. Heart felt heart breaks, Dull aches. This is a must buy Poetry Novel!

THE HILARIOUS AND ACTION-PACKED STORY OF BOB, ACCIDENTAL TIME TRAVELLER. IT''S DOWN TO BOB TO SAVE THE WORLD . . . ALL HE NEEDS IS TIME! Bob and his best friend Malcolm are determined to win the school talent competition with their band The Tentacles of Time. For one thing, there''s £50 worth of vouchers to be won. For another, the future of the world depends on it. Bob doesn''t know why he can time travel. He does know that it always happens at the worst possible moments. Like when he''s in the bath. Awkward! But when Bob comes face to face with his future self in the middle of a disastrous alternative reality, he has to do something! In this terrifying version of the future, an evil genius has created a smile-operated selfie camera that turns people into zombies. The world as Bob knows it has completely collapsed. There''s not even anywhere to get a decent pizza! It''s up to Bob to fix the present, change the course of time and save the whole world! A hair-raising race into the future and back again . . . and again. Perfect for fans of DAVID SOLOMONS, DAVID BADDIEL and GREG JAMES & CHRIS SMITH.

A hilarious new folktale adaptation from award-winning author Andy Jones, with brave and resourceful girls, evil giants, a magical cat, a storytelling hotel and hairy feet.

People need realize how important kidney health is, but not until they are diagnosed with a kidney problem that they tend to realize.The kidneys, which functions by removing waste products, impurities and excess fluids from the blood, as well as regular levels of sodium, potassium and pH in the body, play a crucial role in maintaining overall health and wellbeing

Dark Nights. Looking for a great gift idea . 110 Lined Pages in (6 x 9) inches are provided for you to put your thoughts, hopes, experiences, likes, and dislikes.This Dark Nights notebook can be used as a journal, travel notebook, diary, business / office notebook, school journal, daily planner or organizer, as a gift , etc.This book includes:6 x 9 inches110 PagesRuled Line SpacingFlexible easy wipe-clean glossy cover

Needed the perfect gift for the gun enthusiast? Okay, but what means perfect? For us, perfect means useful. Which benefits going to have a firearm inventory log book? Firstly, safety. Detailed firearm maintenance allows keeping guns in the best possible condition. Second, satisfaction. Probably every gun owner would want to have a detailed firearm inventory to impress friends! Includes: Brand, Model, Caliber, Serial No., Purchased Info, Qty., Condition, Assessed Value, Space for Photos or Additional Notes

font size="+1"''Astoundingly good. Brave, wickedly funny and profoundly affecting. Wow!'' Miranda Dickinson/font size font size="+1"''An emotional punch-packer of a book. Be prepared for it to swallow you whole'' Milly Johnson/font size font size="+1"''A big-hearted, funny, hugely emotional and uplifting novel - I loved it!'' Rachael Lucas/font size font size="+1"''Such a beautifully written book with characters that will linger in your head and heart'' Sarah J Naughton/font size **** You don''t need talent to join this group of actors. The ability to remember lines or stay awake throughout a performance is appreciated, but not essential. The only mandatory is a terminal diagnosis. But Adam Campbell is less than enthusiastic about this eccentric form of group therapy. He has under one year to live, and a heck of lot to get done. Like explaining mortality to his six-year-old daughter. And making amends with the woman who should have been his wife. The last thing Adam needs is a part in an amateur production of ''Shakespeare''s Greatest Deaths''. But help and hope can be found where we least expect them. And perhaps camaraderie, and a shared purpose, will turn out to be the best medicine after all. As Shakespeare, didn''t quite put it: Shuffling off this mortal coil is a drag; but it''s no reason to stop living. The Cancer Ladies'' Running Club meets The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot, The Last Act of Adam Campbell is a warm, poignant and wise tale about love, friendship, and making the most of every minute of life that we''re granted.

»En rörande, rolig roman som visar hur livet alltid kastar fram det oväntade.« Woman & Home »Har allt du kan vilja ha av en romantisk komedi och mer.« The Sun Henry och Zoe har mer gemensamt än vad de tror. Till exempel vill de båda till varje pris lägga det förflutna bakom sig. Henry har precis övergett sin ungdomsförälskelse på bröllopsdagen och åker till London där han hoppas kunna bygga upp sitt liv på nytt. Zoe har sina egna skäl att se över sitt liv, och hon tänker göra det genom att lämna London och resa över hela världen medan hon funderar på vad hon egentligen vill ha ut av livet. Hon vet inte vart hon är på väg, men hon är övertygad om att hon ska dit ensam. Om Henry och Zoe hade träffats för ett år sedan hade kanske allt sett annorlunda ut. Men det är inte så livet funkar och därför är den här boken inte heller en vanlig kärleksroman. ANDY JONES är en brittisk författare, bosatt i London med fru och två barn. Hans hyllade feelgood-roman Vi två kom ut på svenska 2016. Henry och Zoe är hans tredje roman.

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Henry a Zoe toho mají společného víc, než by je samotné napadlo. Třeba to, že každý z nich musel zúčtovat s minulostí a začít znovu, aby zjistili, co v životě doopravdy chtějí. Jeden z nich proto utekl do Londýna, druhý naopak z Londýna hodlá na hodně dlouho zmizet. A když se jejich životní dráhy v městě nad Temží protnou, zdá se, že si s nimi osud jen tak zahrává... Je nějaká naděje, že z rovnice HENRY + ZOE nakonec vyjde VELKÁ LÁSKA?

The funniest collection of rap, rhyme, riddles and poems you''ve EVER read! An awesome new collection from the bestselling author of THE ENORMOUS BOOK OF HOT JOKES FOR KOOL KIDS and THE FARTIONARY. Ages 6+

A heart-warming and funny novel about love and the choices we make. How bad choices can lead to good things, and how life is never what you expect it to be. Perfect for fans of One Day and Me Before You, from the author of The Two of Us. Henry and Zoe have more in common than they realise. For a start, they both have pasts they''d rather leave behind. After jilting his childhood sweetheart on the eve of their wedding, Henry makes a break for London. He has no friends, no job, no home, no plan. Zoe has great friends, two jobs, a new house, and a big scary plan. After a traumatic, life-changing event, she plans to leave London and spend a year travelling. Alone. If Henry and Zoe had met one year ago, things might have worked out differently. But that s not the way life works. They meet seven months after their worlds have been turned upside down. And four months before Zoe is due to climb on a plane... What readers said about Andy Jones''s first novel, the bestselling The Two of Us: ‘Frank, funny and bittersweet,The Two of Us is a love story about what happens when a relationship looks all wrong but feels all right. This is a book with its heart firmly in the right place’ Louise Candlish ‘Touching, funny and real, Andy Jones’s novel about what happens after the love story had me laughing one minute and crying the next. I loved it’Jane Costello ‘At my age I am still amazed when a writer with the gift of the written word can make me care about a character so much that I can be reduced to tears one minute and laughing the next – but this author manages to do just that’ Sun ‘Honest, heartfelt and real, Jones has poured heart and soul into his words …The Two of Us is a beautiful read about love, friendship and life!’ The Love of a Good Book ‘A really good read and amazingly impressive from a debut author. Have some tissues ready but also be prepared to hold your breath and laugh your socks off’ Fabulous Book Fiend ‘It is a truly inspirational and emotional read, one which will stay with me for a long time and is definitely one of my top reads of 2015’ Compelling Reads ‘Like One Day and Me Before You, The Two of Us almost reads like a screenplay for a hit film and I would not be surprised if we see this on the big screen in a year or two.’ Hollikins, Goodreads ‘You''ll have a lump in your throat more than once and you’ll shade more than one tear but it will also make you laugh and will warm your heart. An outstanding debut’Alba in Bookland ‘A damn fine book and has already barged its way into my top ten of the year so far and I don’t foresee it budging. Well done, Andy Jones’ Lisa Talks About… ‘A beautifully written story with a lot of emotions and adorable scenes’ Sky’s Book Corner ‘A lovely story, well written and tender, both heart-warming and heart-breaking. I haven’t read a book for a long time that made me feel happy and sad by the end’ Melanie Trevelyan, Goodreads

Perder la cabeza por amor es sencillo... la gran aventura empieza cuando compartes la pasta de dientes. Cuando Fisher conoce a Ivy, con su sonrisa, su sentido del humor y esa despreocupada manera de destilar feromonas, la chispa que salta entre ellos está a punto de incendiar medio Londres. Y durante dos semanas en las que ninguna razón les parece lo suficientemente buena como para salir de la cama, se alimentan de galletas y pan mohoso y se olvidan de que en el mundo exterior existen jefes, hipotecas y multas de aparcamiento. Fisher apenas se atreve a creerlo pero tras ese frenesí inicial lo que siente puede estar convirtiéndose en algo muy parecido al amor. El hecho de que apenas sepan nada el uno del otro es un simple detalle sin importancia. Lo que no puede imaginarse es que su primera noche juntos ya ha decidido el resto de sus vidas. Si no la fastidia. Un libro para los que creen en el amor... a pesar de todo. La opinión de la crítica: «Un libro magníficamente escrito y maravillosamente cautivador sobre enamorarse y seguir enamorado, sobre sorpresas, expectativas, ajustes, compromisos y sobre cómo manejar todo lo anterior sin perder la cabeza... Me encantó.» Daily Mail «Una fascinante historia de amor actual..., encantadora y divertida; lo recomendamos encarecidamente.» Library Journal «¿Quién de nosotros no ha sido joven y ha estado locamente enamorado? Los fans de la comedia romántica británica disfrutarán viendo cómo Fisher intenta resolver la situación.» Booklist «Todavía me asombra cuando encuentro a un escritor con el don de la palabra que puede hacer que un personaje me importe tanto como para ponerme a llorar en un momento y echarme a reír un minuto después. Jones consigue exactamente eso.» The Sun

"Originally published in 2015 in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd."--Title page verso.

Sich verlieben ist noch das Leichteste – was danach kommt zählt. Als er Ivy begegnet, ist Fisher wie vom Blitz getroffen, und bald ist er sich sicher, dass aus der Sache etwas werden könnte. Noch weiß keiner der beiden, dass die Entscheidung über ihre Zukunft längst gefallen ist: Ivy ist schwanger. Doch während das neue Leben in Ivy heranwächst, muss sich Fisher um seinen schwer erkrankten Freund El kümmern. Und Ivy und Fisher sind immer noch damit beschäftigt, sich kennenzulernen. Denn es ist eine Sache, sich zu verlieben – miteinander zu leben ist eine ganz andere Geschichte ... Ein einmalig ehrlicher, herzzerreißender Roman über die Liebe und das Leben und darüber, dass man keines von beiden als gegeben nehmen sollte. "Ich liebe dich, Ivy. Ich finde dich klug und witzig und schön ... Doch bist du die Richtige? Oder bist du nur noch hier, weil du schwanger bist? Ich hoffe, dass alles gut ausgeht, aber die Wahrheit ist: Ich weiß es nicht." “Ein wunderschön erzähltes, absolut bezauberndes Buch über das Sich-Verlieben und Lieben und die Kompromisse, die zur Liebe dazugehören.“ Daily Mail.

A rip-snorting, laugh-out-loud, giggle-inducing collection of Andy Jones'' most HILARIOUS books! Contains The Fartionary, The Burptionary and The Joketionary ... Days of entertainment! Ages 7+

Full of hilarious jokes, trivia, facts and cartoons, THE FARTIONARY is guaranteed to be a hit with kids everywhere! Now in B-format. Do girls fart more than boys? Which foods make the best bottom burps? What happens if you let one rip in space? All these stinking questions and more will be answered in ... THE FARTIONARY! Andy Jones explodes the farty facts! Find out: • the do''s and don''ts of the babbling bottom • why the family that farts together stays together • what to do when Pop goes POP! Plus, discover your farting personality type, learn how to talk your way out of a stinky situation and impress your friends with the funniest fart jokes. The coolest collection of all things farty! ''THE FARTIONARY made me laugh so hard I farted!'' Professor Fartypants ''Hey, Professor Fartypants, pull my finger!'' Doctor Stinksalot Ages: 6+

Bunny''s are happy, bees are busy, owls are wise. But what do people say about aardvarks? ''As Something As An Aardvark'' is a beautifully illustrated story about individuality and the importance of being yourself.

The only way is up! The master of bodily functions is back in the gurgliest follow-up ever. Ages: 6+ Andy Jones continues his hilarious journey through the human digestive system and tells you everything you (n)ever wanted toknow about BURPS! Whether they be lady-like hiccups or onion-breath stinkers, burps are an essential part of the human experience. the Burptionary is jam-packed full of belchy facts, gaseous jokes and burp-tastic riddles and rhymes, and is guaranteed to have boys everywhere laughing till they spew.

From the creator of THE ENORMOUS BOOK OF HOT JOKES FOR KOOL KIDS and THE FARTIONARY comes a hilarious book of short stories. Perfect for reluctant readers and fans of Andy Griffiths. Skatergirl is cool. She has cool hair, she wears cool clothes and she rides a really cool skateboard. Scooterboy, on the other hand, lives on the not-so-cool side of cool... When Scooterboy and Skatergirl get together, only one thing is certain - something hilarious is about to happen! Packed with lots of fun, cartoon-style illustrations and stacks of laugh-out-loud moments! Ages: 8-12

Moliere''s comedy classic is ingeniously reimagined in Andy Jones'' hilarious adaptation, set in 1930s Newfoundland. The original Tartuffe, by France''s most celebrated comic playwright, is set in seventeenth-century Parisian high society during the reign of King Louis XIV. Jones'' Tartuffe, set in the home of a wealthy fish merchant on the South Coast of Newfoundland, is a blazingly funny exploration of religious hypocrisy, with a unique Newfoundland twist.

Poems and Essays by Andy Jones and Kate Duren about their son with Smith Lemli Opitz Syndrome.

44 of the funniest, stinkiest, most EXPLOSIVE fart jokes and poems ever! Ages: 6+ Q: What do you get if you mix a fart with dessert? A: Smelly jelly! Q: Why are farts so poor? A: Because they only have one scent! A collection of the funniest, stinkiest, most EXPLOSIVE fart jokes and poems ever! ''I laughed so hard I farted!'' -Professor Fartypants Ages: 6+

Jack and Mary are happy until an underhanded sea captain and Jack''s bragging bring trouble into their lives.