Best Selling Books by Simon Haynes

A cunning rival determined to ruin Hal''s business, a Peace Force officer facing a dangerous investigation and a planet with more bugs than a new operating system ... When Hal and Clunk set out to make a fresh start, this wasn''t exactly what they had in mind. Now Hal must choose: take on the rival to save his own business, or help the officer with her first - and possibly last - investigation? Whatever he decides, it''s No Free Lunch for Hal Spacejock! Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, No Free Lunch is the fourth novel in the Hal Spacejock series. Book five, Baker''s Dough, is also available. Winner, Western Australian Science Fiction Foundation Award, 2008 One of five finalists in the 2008 Aurealis Awards Australia''s Premier Speculative Fiction award One of six finalists in the 2008 Ditmar Awards Also available in Hal Spacejock Omnibus Two, along with books five and six in the series. This is usually the cheapest way to pick up all three novels. Hal Spacejock novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They''re not sequels, they don''t end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. (Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it''s not essential.) These comedy scifi novels are perfect for fans of Hitchhiker''s Guide to the Galaxy, Doctor Who, Space Team, Space Police, and Red Dwarf. Keywords:comedy scifi with robots

Would you work for a deranged robot? Harriet Walsh does! Her weapon won''t fire without the right paperwork, the patrol car is driving her up the wall, and her crime-fighting computer doesn''t even have solitaire. Welcome to the Peace Force ... Peace Force is set in the distant future, where the galaxy has been colonised and human-like robots are commonplace. It''s good clean fun, written with wry humor. The Harriet Walsh Series Harriet Walsh 1: Peace Force Harriet Walsh 2: Alpha Minor Harriet Walsh 3: Sierra Bravo Keywords: sci fi police, future police, sci fi with strong female protagonist, sci fi crime book, female sci fi, robot books, police robot, robot science fiction, flying cars, society of the future, sci fi policing

England, 1871. A quiet country village is rocked by murder. Police have no leads and no clues, apart from the grisly state of the victim''s body. Evidence points to a supernatural killer, but Professor Twickham is curiously reluctant to lend his assistance. Roberta, his daughter, has no such qualms, and she involves me in the case as well... only to turn around and abandon me for a sick friend. Now I must unmask the vicious killer on my own, but had I only known the truth, I''d never have got involved... This standalone novel is the second title in the Mysteries in Metal gaslamp fantasy series. Keywords: Gaslamp fantasy, steampunk, mystery

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune ... it''s a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk. Baker''s Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

Hal Spacejock lands on planet Alteia, where he''s so distracted by his own problems that he forgets to collect Clunk from the luggage rack. Not to worry, because a couple of old friends free Clunk from the spaceport ... only to reveal a great big ulterior motive: they want him to join their gang ... er, group. Meanwhile, Hal''s remembered his trusty co-pilot at last ... but only because everyone''s trying to kill him, and Clunk is big and metal and bulletproof-ish. Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, Double Trouble is the eighth novel in the Hal Spacejock series. Book nine, Max Damage, is currently in progress. Keywords: british scifi Hal Spacejock novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They''re not sequels, they don''t end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. (Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it''s not essential.) These comedy scifi novels are perfect for fans of Hitchhiker''s Guide to the Galaxy, Doctor Who, Space Team, Space Police, and Red Dwarf.

This special release contains books 4, 5 and 6 in the Hal Spacejock series, plus a special bonus story (Hal Spacejock Framed).

An incompetent, accident-prone pilot is given one last chance to save his ship. An ageing robot is trusted with a midnight landing in a deserted field. And a desperate businessman is prepared to sacrifice both of them to get what he wants... Combining relentless action with non-stop laughs, Hal Spacejock explodes onto the science fiction scene with the subtlety of a meteor strike and the hushed reverence of a used car salesman.

A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn''t step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one victim? Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this brand new 8000-word short story. ''Framed'' slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock Second Course, but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone. Kurt took up his position in front of the robot, while Hal took up his position behind a large rock twenty metres away. With shaking fingers, Kurt reached for the cap on Clunk''s head. Meanwhile, Hal''s fingers were in his ears and his eyes were screwed shut. "It''s okay," said Kurt. "It''s just a solar panel." "Attached to what?" "His brain, I think." "Oh wonderful," muttered Hal. "He''ll be thinking and talking and arguing, and he still won''t be able to do anything useful."

Get the Dragon and Chips trilogy in a single, huge volume. Three novels in one! A creaky old robot shows up in a backward, medieval kingdom, promptly triggering all-out war. It''s elves versus humans, humans versus dwarves, and pretty much everyone versus the goblins. At least there are no dragons to worry about, because they''ve been boned, filleted and barbecued to the brink of extinction. Hey, it''s their own fault for being delicious. Throw in a wizard with pockets full of mysterious herbs, a volatile halfling with a hair-trigger temper and a barbarian who''d rather bed the nearest princess than wield his other mighty sword, and you have the makings of a crazed, epic trilogy. Can the robot survive this feudal insanity, or will he end up shared between the warring factions... literally? This single volume includes A Portion of Dragon and Chips, A Butt of Heads and A Pair of Nuts on the Thone. Get it now! Swearing: minorViolence: moderateSex: none/offscreen mentions

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune ... it''s a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk.Baker''s Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

First a dead body shows up on Harriet''s favourite beach. Then she discovers the whole place is going to be bulldozed for an apartment complex. She''s convinced the two are connected, but she''ll have to untangle a web of lies and corruption to reach the truth. Meanwhile, someone has decided that the best way to avoid discovery is to silence Harriet... for good!

Hal Spacejock dons a flash suit, hypershades and a curly earpiece for a stint as a secret agent, while Clunk is invited to a ''unique business opportunity'' by a pair of his most rusted friends. Inevitably, things turn sour, and it''s all hands to the pumps as the good ship Spacejock springs leaks from stem to stern.

Hal and Clunk have landed a nice simple job: deliver a collection of prized artworks to an exhibition. Unfortunately, their client isn''t the only person with a keep interest in art, and it''s not long before the mismatched duo are up to their necks in trouble. [from back cover].

A mysterious sealed crate, a pair of shady mercenaries with more guns than brain cells, and an amnesiac robot which may or may not be on a secret mission only interstellar ignoramus Hal Spacejock and the unflappable Clunk could turn a straightforward cargo delivery into space opera with clowns. With three simmering planets, two cocky spacemen, and one huge mess, Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is a reading pleasure. Described as ''one of the most memorable figures in sci-fi, '' Hal Spacejock has blazed a smoking trail through bookstores across Australia. The Hal Spacejock series works on several levels straight humor, rousing adventure, and social satire, and appeals to fans of Red Dwarf, HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy, and works by Terry Pratchett, Tom Holt, and Robert Rankin.

A beautiful and mysterious female passenger, a loony inventor with a basement full of deadly weapons, and a dangerous run-down teleporter built by a long-lost alien civilization these are just some of the challenges facing Hal Spacejock and his longsuffering metal sidekick Clunk as they fight for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. Hal Spacejock: Second Course serves a piping hot dish of interplanetary chaos stuffed with laughs and loaded with action.