Best Selling Books by Simon Haynes

Get the Dragon and Chips trilogy in a single, huge volume. Three novels in one! A creaky old robot shows up in a backward, medieval kingdom, promptly triggering all-out war. It''s elves versus humans, humans versus dwarves, and pretty much everyone versus the goblins. At least there are no dragons to worry about, because they''ve been boned, filleted and barbecued to the brink of extinction. Hey, it''s their own fault for being delicious. Throw in a wizard with pockets full of mysterious herbs, a volatile halfling with a hair-trigger temper and a barbarian who''d rather bed the nearest princess than wield his other mighty sword, and you have the makings of a crazed, epic trilogy. Can the robot survive this feudal insanity, or will he end up shared between the warring factions... literally? This single volume includes A Portion of Dragon and Chips, A Butt of Heads and A Pair of Nuts on the Thone. Get it now! Swearing: minorViolence: moderateSex: none/offscreen mentions

"A five star book!" - Jim C. Hines A cunning rival determined to ruin Hal''s business, an attractive trainee peace officer facing a dangerous investigation and a planet with more bugs than a new operating system ... When Hal and Clunk set out to make a fresh start, this wasn''t exactly what they had in mind. Now Hal must choose: take on the rival to save his own business, or help the trainee with her first - and possibly last - investigation? Whatever he decides, it''s No Free Lunch for Hal Spacejock!

First a dead body shows up on Harriet''s favourite beach. Then she discovers the whole place is going to be bulldozed for an apartment complex. She''s convinced the two are connected, but she''ll have to untangle a web of lies and corruption to reach the truth. Meanwhile, someone has decided that the best way to avoid discovery is to silence Harriet... for good!

Planet Dismolle is supposed to be a peaceful haven. So what''s with all the gunfire? A criminal gang has moved into Chirless, Dismolle''s second major city. Elderly residents are fed up with the loud music, noisy cars and late night parties, not to mention hold-ups, muggings and the occasional gunfight. Chirless has no Peace Force, so Harriet Walsh of the Dismolle City branch has to help out. That puts her up against a gang of hardened criminals with only her training pistol and a few old allies to lend a hand. And these allies aren''t just old, they''re positively ancient!

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune ... it''s a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk.Baker''s Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

Hal Spacejock dons a flash suit, hypershades and a curly earpiece for a stint as a secret agent, while Clunk is invited to a ''unique business opportunity'' by a pair of his most rusted friends. Inevitably, things turn sour, and it''s all hands to the pumps as the good ship Spacejock springs leaks from stem to stern.

Hal and Clunk have landed a nice simple job: deliver a collection of prized artworks to an exhibition. Unfortunately, their client isn''t the only person with a keep interest in art, and it''s not long before the mismatched duo are up to their necks in trouble. [from back cover].

Space Station Oberon is on high alert, because a comet is about to whizz past the nearby planet of Gyris. All the scientists are preparing for the exciting event, and all the kids are planning on watching. All the kids except Hal Junior, who''s been given detention. Unfortunately the comet passes a whole lot closer than expected. Fortunately nobody is hurt, but the kids are trapped in one half, the adults in the other. Never mind. They have air and supplies, and they can all sit tight and wait for rescue. Or can they? The scientists discover Space Station Oberon is now falling towards Gyris, faster and faster, and it''s going to crash into the planet long before anyone can be rescued! Now it''s up to Hal Junior and his friends. Not only do they have to save themselves, they''ve also got to save all the scientists and the space station! But how?

Hal Junior uncovers a threat to the space station and everyone on board. How will he warn them? With a Secret Signal, of course Ten-year-old Hal Junior lives aboard an orbiting space station, where his mum is chief scientist, his dad cleans air filters and his best mate is Stephen ''Stinky'' Binn. Everyone in class is excited, because they''re getting a guided tour of a visiting space ship. But during the tour, Hal discovers a secret which threatens the space station and everyone on board. Unfortunately, Hal''s a bit of a troublemaker, and even if he manages to get the message out, there is absolutely no guarantee anyone will believe him. Hal Junior: The Secret Signal features mayhem and laughs, daring and intrigue ... plus Hal''s home-made space cannon This is the first book in the Hal Junior series. Book two, The Missing Case, and book three, The Gyris Mission, are also available. What they''re saying ... "The only part I didn''t like was the explanation of how food is made. I understand why Stinky''s face turned green." "This is a charming book full of wacky, innovative fun that can be read quickly and easily by readers of all ages. It''s a perfect way to encourage readers to keep reading." "A fun, easy to read story that is perfect for adventurous and imaginative young readers that like the idea of saving the day. Especially those who can identify with the kids whose hearts are in the right place, but their behavior quite often isn''t." "Hal Jr is educated by a robot, his home is a space station, his homework has just been sucked into the recycling hatch, his mother has just been promoted to head of research, and trouble is brewing." "This particular book could be enjoyed by kids 5 and older - much older. I am in my twenties and I thought that this 175 page book was a quirky, smart, and fun little riot for boys and girls of all ages." "This book is a must-read for boys who enjoy sci-fi aged 8-12 years old. I found it entertaining as a light read for myself (being a 13 year old girl) so I pretty much recommend this to everyone." "There are all sorts of fun things in the book, from morse code to a mysterious watch recovered from the junk heap, a reverse canon that shoots garbage, and even a guide on how to build Hal''s homework paper plane." "Hal is such a typical kid. He gets into more scrapes that should be possible and yet always seems to come out on top. He''s endearing and funny, exasperating and brave and earnest. Hal is quite likeable and you find yourself both cheering and groaning at his antics." "I know that the kids in my class will just love this. It doesn''t come any more highly recommended than that " "There is elements of physics, environmental science and more throughout the book, which would grab the attention of those who are science buffs, as well as those who like a good story." "I may love Hal Junior better than the adult version." "A very fun read, and the level is just right for late-early readers."

The Peace Force has a new recruit, and she''s driving everyone crazy. From disobeying orders to handling unauthorised cases, nothing is off-limits. Worse, Harriet Walsh is forced to team up with the newbie, because the recruit''s shady past has just caught up with her. Meanwhile, a dignitary wants to complain about rogue officers working out of the station. She insists on meeting the station''s commanding officer ... and they don''t have one. All up, it''s another typical day in the Peace Force!

Do any of these sound familiar? - You want to write your first novel ... ... but you don''t know how to begin. - You''ve started writing several novels ... ... but you never finish them. - You''ve written a novel or two, ... ... but you want to publish more often. If you answered yes to any of the above, this book might just be what you''re looking for I''m Simon Haynes, and I''ve been writing and publishing novels and short fiction for almost twenty years. This guide contains everything I''ve learned about writing a novel, both as an indie and as a trade-published author. Maybe you want to write a novel which has been on your mind for years. You don''t care how long it takes, you just want to see it through to the end. Or maybe you see yourself as a career novelist - there''s a real challenge - and you want to write books quickly and efficiently. I''ve done both, and I cover both approaches in How to Write a Novel.

A house clearance job sounds like easy money, but rising floodwaters, an unstable landscape and a surprise find are going to make life very difficult for Hal and Clunk. Big Bang is book seven in the Hal Spacejock series.

Space Station Oberon is expecting an important visitor, and everyone is on their best behaviour. But can Hal Junior stay out of trouble? [from back cover].

A mysterious sealed crate, a pair of shady mercenaries with more guns than brain cells, and an amnesiac robot which may or may not be on a secret mission only interstellar ignoramus Hal Spacejock and the unflappable Clunk could turn a straightforward cargo delivery into space opera with clowns. With three simmering planets, two cocky spacemen, and one huge mess, Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is a reading pleasure. Described as ''one of the most memorable figures in sci-fi, '' Hal Spacejock has blazed a smoking trail through bookstores across Australia. The Hal Spacejock series works on several levels straight humor, rousing adventure, and social satire, and appeals to fans of Red Dwarf, HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy, and works by Terry Pratchett, Tom Holt, and Robert Rankin.